Love Analyzed

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. Nietzsche

“I sometimes think that love is a dirty word and much dirtier than pussy, for example. All we need is love. I don’t think as much anymore. All we need is the silence of a kind breeze, the shade of a happy tree, the sight of a blue sky, the knowledge that the Sun is still there at night, sending its rays of life and death. Love is already in the fabric of these moments and there’s no need to extract it and give it even more meaning when it simply doesn’t merit it.”

You surely don’t mean it.

“We always speak of love as an aspiration, an objective, often only considering its good sentiments, its positive elements, while neglecting, at first, to acknowledge all its faults, all its flawed traits, when there are several important issues. ‘Love is blind’ often comes up like a cane in one eye before the other eye is also blinded by too much light. ‘There’s no love without sex but there’s sex without love’ is another blinding reality, and this one we can also hear, taste, smell, and freaking touch, the most neglected and often taken for granted sense we possess.”

Where are you going with this?

“A mother’s love may also be overrated. There are some nasty mothers out there. I’ve had the displeasure of knowing one. A father’s love is underrated as men are also conditioned, for example, to feel that their love is always secondary. Mother’s Day? Give me a break! Father’s Day as well. They have their day every day of the year. Children did not ask to come into this world. Parents decided to become what they are, and often Nature and human nature decided it for them.”

You surely jest about the merit of parents.

“Birthdays are another ridiculous love fest that should only be celebrated by children who need it for their forthcoming freaking future. What is so lovely about getting older that we have to celebrate it every freaking year? Perhaps mentioning it once every decade could become the new norm. Happy birthday, my ass! There’s nothing happy about getting older and old. I don’t feel any wiser except that I know much more about pain, suffering, and death, and all the crap that was invented to counter its growing shadow.”

I actually agree with most of this.

“Love isn’t in the air and there are no molecules or particles of love. There are love pangs, love pains, love-nourished suffering, and even love-mediated deaths. Love is a cruel beast that appears to be wonderful only when the two lovers happen to be soulmates as well, which may be but another piece of love propaganda.”

Something must have happened to you to feel this much out of love. Did you forget that molecules and particles of love were simply meant to be poetic and not representative of any truth?

“And the heart, that blood pump, that silent killer that was proclaimed as the site of love, when love is and was all along flowing from the banished brain, bombarded by those so-called love atoms. Come on! We can generate some love by manipulating hormones and neurotransmitters. Love is a feeling on a spectrum from none to too much.”

I can’t disagree with most of this, but again, the atoms of love were only poetic in nature, nothing more. You’ve taken it too literally.

“But — there’s always a but — to be loved remains the best feeling there is, and I’m referring to real carnal love when all senses combine into one and the lover appears as everything that you wanted out of life. Yet, even that coveted feeling is a smokescreen that can dissolve at any moment like a mirage in any desert hostile to complex life. Love is a deficient drug like all prescriptions.”

Nothing is perfect as you know too well, and, as you mention, love is the best feeling one can experience.

“If we can’t make love to our true friends, friendship should be removed from the domain of love, unless, like Nietzsche, we consider friendship to be an important ingredient of a happy marriage, another institution always plagued by discord verging on divorce and worse.”

There isn’t much if anything that I can dispute here except that there are different types of love, and friendship is simply of a different suit.

“We can’t reason with love. It’s essential for survival even when it’s unrequited or buried underneath a barrage of semi-truths masquerading as witty or wise observations. We need love as much as we need water and even oxygen. Love is everyone’s muse if perceived as an irregular current. It’s the lack of love that engenders pain, suffering, disease, and ultimately death. Love has to be loved like a muse. Love has to become supreme, no matter all the inherent obstacles that it faces as we attempt to feel and cope with it. All my previous paragraphs didn’t take this into account.”

So, why did you mention all those negativities?

“It had to be said before anything positive could be really appreciated. Love may be the only sentiment worth feeling since it includes every other positive heartache and brain freeze. ‘I love you’ are the three most sought for words, followed by ‘I love you too’ as the most sought for reply. These fine feelings aren’t always mutual, but when they are, the sky is blue or the Moon is full, and when it’s not circular, the Moon looks as if it’s smiling. Say, cheese!”

I love you.

“That’s a dangerous and wonderful feeling. I love you too.”