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Living On The Borderline.

Life With Borderline Personality Disorder.

By M.O. LeClairPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Living On The Borderline.
Photo by Camila Quintero Franco on Unsplash

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a disorder that has a long series of long-term patterns, unstable emotions and bad feelings. It involves inner experiences that cause impulsiveness. Relationships will suffer. It is often confused with Bipolar Disorder or Intermittent Explosive Disorder. A personality pattern is shown over time, and it goes through three stages; these stages may take months or years to cycle through—the personality swings from one stage to the next. An identity crisis may also be present.

The First Stage of a Borderline Personality Disorder Relationship

They will appear vulnerable and "need" to be rescued. You will feel a sense of compassion. People who suffer from BPD are a master at portraying themselves as the victim. You will hear how no one understands them, and people have betrayed them. You are different, and there is something special about you. You will feel adored quickly. The conversation is intense, and the attention is always on you. They will make you the center of attention. It will seem like you have found your true love, and it will all seem real because it is in their mind. This stage is known as the seducer stage.

The Three Stages of a Borderline Personality Disorder Relationship:

  • Seducer
  • Clinger
  • Hater

Now that they have received your attention, you are at the Clinger stage. They are interested in you, but their interest becomes your interest in them. Your thoughts fascinate them; when they focus on them. They will pay more attention to you when your attention is on them, and they will treat you better. You will begin to confuse empathy with love. Complaints are common; their back hurts, their headaches. You will notice the pattern. No matter how you try to help them, nothing is enough. They are driven by control. Sex is motivated by a need to dominate and please you, and "I love you" may mean I need you to love me. Tell me it was the best for you. Show me I have convinced you.

The Final Stage

The hater stage. They have succeeded in control, and now the rage begins. You may not recognize them. They may not recognize you. Anger is complicated for someone witnessing it, to know what the trigger was. In their mind, it is clear. It is you, your voice, thoughts, feelings, clothing, movements, even your breathing, or looking at them. They will justify it by blaming you or someone else. They will be unpredictable; it will happen when you least expect it. They are dangerous. It serves to break your self-esteem. You change your behaviour in hopes of returning them to the clinger stage. They will only cycle back to the hater stage.

Overall, BPD can make relationships difficult for the person suffering and for loved ones. With personal care, professional treatment and support, people living with BPD can have healthy relationships. Treatment includes talk therapy, such as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). It has successfully treated BPD, and group therapy can help change behaviours, but it is not for every BPD patient. Medications can help level mood swings and treat depression. Treatments may seem draining, but the risk of not being treated is far more dangerous. Support systems help. It takes patience and perseverance from both the person suffering and their loved ones, but it is not impossible. I, too, suffer from BPD, and there is hope with help.

I would highly recommend reading "Girl, Interrupted" by Susanna Kaysen and seeing the movie by the same name. It is very informative, and it helped me a lot when I was first learning about my disorder.

disorder
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About the Creator

M.O. LeClair

'Concrete Jungle' (#Novel) by M.O. LeClair: www.amazon.ca/dp/B09FG7SKXR

'Sidewalk High' (#Novel) by M.O. LeClair: www.amazon.ca/dp/B0CVFSYL3L

#eBook #Paperback #Hardcover #Audiobook #Author #Director

(Both audiobooks released June, 2024)

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