Life With Anxiety

"Why is anxiety so bad?" people ask. They don’t understand what life looks like through a person's eyes with anxiety. How every easy daily task can be hell to someone. How just simply waking up in the morning can cause so much anxiety for one person. Anxiety is like a storm in your brain. Or like how the TV gets that black and white static screen and makes that horrible noise; that's what it's like for me. I know it's different for other people and they could explain it in a different way. Anxiety sucks, it really does; it holds me back from doing things in life because I'm so scared of what could happen so I don't go and try, I just stay in my little bubble. I don't go out and try new things because I'm too scared of the change. Change isn't always that bad some of you might think. Put your feet in the shoes of someone who has anxiety. Try to understand how life would look like and feel like.

That girl in the back of the classroom that everyone thought was different and strange. That strange girl was me. I sat in the back of the classroom because I was scared of everything. I hated the feeling when everyone was sitting and doing their work and the second you stand up to go do something, everyone's eyes were watching and judging you. I hated that feeling so much it felt like tiny little daggers stabbing every part of my body. I never left my seat till everyone left when it was time to leave. That's not even the beginning of what it's like to live with anxiety. Anxiety is tough, it's not easy but I will tell you this, you can overcome and beat your anxiety. Life will get better you will always have those really bad days still. You will find the people in your life who will love you for who you are. You will find the people who are always there for you no matter what. It takes awhile to find the right people or even the right person. They do exist and they are out there. You just have to wait till you find them and yes I understand how much that sucks but when you find them life will be better.

There is honestly no reason to give up on your life. Keep pushing and fighting your way, keep your head held high. You have an amazing life to live. I'm nineteen years old and I have made it this far. There were times where I wanted to give up and not try anymore. I never saw the light at the end of the tunnel I always thought my life couldn't get any better. What really helps me is finding the stuff that you love to do. I love music and my horse. They both have helped me so much. My Friends also, I don't have a big friend group but that's okay. I have really close friends that I know I can count on them. I appreciate everything they have done for me and how they have helped me in the past. They all have helped me get to where I am now. You need to think before you judge someone with anxiety. Anxiety can lead to so many different other illnesses. It can make a lot of people depressed and lead to suicide or drugs. I have struggled with being depressed but it does get better but not perfect. You will always have anxiety there is no cure. Just a lot of different meds to try and find the ones that works for you.