Psyche logo

Life Coaching

Contemplative Style

By Cozett DunnPublished 2 years ago 7 min read
Like
Life Coaching
Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

For many years I felt a nudge, a prompt to get into life coaching. It was something my soul wanted to do but my ego...not so much. I have lived one interesting and unusual life. I knew I had tons of experience to share. The lessons learned have been invaluable but I was never sure of how I could bring my insights out on to the world stage in an effective manner. I definitely have a talent for public speaking but if I'm honest sometimes the energy I feel before an engagement feels wobbly. Like a newborn giraffe. All too often I felt that the energy it took to push through and pull off the event simply wasn't worth the reward. As someone with a background of panic disorder and generalized anxiety I think it's important that I share my story for other coaches and speakers who may struggle with their mental health. One of the things that make the life coaching arena so hard to navigate is that one of our greatest tools to employ and shift our personal trajectory as well as that of our clients is the vibration we maintain. Life coaching requires a level of emotional dexterity if you're going to be successful and lead people into their best lives.

As I reflect on the span of my life I admit that I can't help but hold a curious admiration for the girl I once was and the woman I am now. From years of prolonged and frequent childhood trauma I have some Goliath accomplishments in the areas of personal, emotional, mental and spiritual growth. I came from a family of addicts. I have seen my mother brutally beaten with the butt of a gun in which all the bones in the lower half of her face was shattered. I've seen her OD more times than I can count. At the age of 13 I carried her in my arms out of a movie theater because she overdosed during the movie and her date freaked out and split. I laid her on the popcorn counter while the staff called an ambulance. I ran screaming out of the theater with hot tears pouring down my face thinking I had let her down somehow and couldn't move quickly enough to save her life. My wounds ran deep. And, I won't for a minute try to put on airs that because I'm now a life coach and finishing my psychology degree that I am 100% healed. I've recovered a great deal, yes. Thankfully, my mother and I enjoy a relationship today that has only just developed in the last several years. It's tough. But, I'm tougher. And if this was the only trauma I'd experienced I think it'd be enough to qualify me to help others. But, it's not. There is more. More than I'll post here. If you follow me you'll be privy to my many stories. And hopefully my stories will help you navigate through whatever storms you find yourself.

Here's where I'm at. I am the sober daughter and sober sibling. I am a business owner and a blogger. I've been a preacher and I am a poet. I've been married and divorced. Sick and healthy. I have moments where I relish in the freedom of being child free and days that I've wept longing to conceive. I'm a progressive and liberally spiritual person who lives in a conservative context. I've traveled to Mexico, The Bahamas, Trinidad and Tobago, and Turkey. I found higher versions of myself in each place. And, I've incorporated those Cozetts into who is sitting here and typing out this journal piece. So if you're reading this I believe it's because you were meant to.

There is a touch of destiny on the lives of people like me I think. We all have one of course. But, there is something about a person who has lived through catastrophic contrasts and lived to tell the tale. Someone who has tasted the bitterness of life but when they themselves are tasted...they are richly sweet. And they deliver their story with a decadence. You'd never know I have struggled with panic disorder most of my adult life if we were making small talk somewhere. I attribute this strength to my grandmother, Gloria. I've never known someone with such unflinching fortitude. At the age of 87, and having experienced all the trauma I have plus from the years before I was born and after I left home at 18, I really don't understand why she's never been on nerve pills. Yet she stands...like a graceful willow. Or like her favorite song, like a "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel. She's told me she feels that song more passionately than any song she's ever heard.

In light of this, and in light of my introvert spirit I had to figure out the "how" and "what" of my life coaching practice. I'm not the type A boss babe type. I have a very soft personality and telling people what to do doesn't resonate with me. I have never been told what to do. My grandmother and grandfather raised me with a very hands off approach. I was never disciplined. Never spanked or grounded. I was never driven or motivated either. I think this is why it doesn't come natural to me to teach by telling. This was the struggle that held me up for so long and prevented me from getting into coaching. This is how contemplative coaching was born.

Even during my preaching days I was never one to take a platform to tell people how they should live. My forte was and is encouragement. My specialty is bringing peace and insight. I know to take a platform to tell people how they should live or what they should do invites nothing but trouble into your own life. I don't think there are many religious speakers who understand the energy behind this act. When you begin to demand people go against the grain of their soul and their own sovereignty you create a magnetic signal that will attract harsh scrutiny into your own private life. It's never a good idea. Ever. Plus, in spite of all I've been through...I believe in humanity. Where there is imperfection there are opportunities for vulnerability. And where there is vulnerability there is opportunities for healing. I am all about that. A healing humanity is what this earth needs. As a collective, we don't need perfect performance. We need pliable pilgrims. We need people who acknowledge they're on a journey and aren't afraid to share their lives as tools of support rather than standards of sanctimony.

This is where I lead from. This is where the magic happens for me and through me. In that liminal place I take clients from being bogged down in their mind space to a free flowing and unapologetic life. I am able to contemplate with them from a place where their mind can get quiet and they can actually see themselves. Powerful moments of clarity and breakthrough fill the air around us and the sessions take on an almost etheric feeling. Now, that sounds beautiful but don't get me wrong sometimes it looks ugly. Sometimes there is ecstatic laughter and sometimes the tears of tender wounds. And all of it...all of it...is acceptable. While I am a huge cheerleader for my clients I don't lead "ra-ra" sessions. My sessions aren't always high energy. Life isn't always high energy. And contrary to popular belief we don't have to be in constant high vibe energy to live our best lives. So if you're looking for a "ra-ra" coach with a shit ton of "on" vibes...I can refer you to some amazing coaches who get their vibes on point, most of the time. But, if you're looking for heartfelt, intuitive and deeply spiritual guidance...I got you.

Feel free to connect with me on FB on my page, Cozett Contemplates. Or, reach out to me via my site www.contemplativecoaching.life for a free discovery session to see if we would be a good fit to work together in this amazing journey called life.

Yours in contemplation,

Cozett Dunn

selfcare
Like

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.