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Lies My Anxiety Tells Me

Trust me, you are good enough.

By Michaela SwitzerPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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It feels like you’re at the top of a roller coaster. You know the drop is coming, sometime that is. Sometimes it’s a few seconds, other times, minutes. Swirling upside down and right-side up. Whipping you left and right with your adrenaline pumping through your thin bluish-green veins. Your breath becomes heavy; it feels as though you are breathing through a green Starbucks straw. The pumping of your heart can be felt through your temples—pulsing, racing, scaring you. Deep breaths. In and out. In that moment the only thing you need is pain, something to distract you. And then it’s over.

For me, that's what it feels like when my anxiety is at it's worst. The need for a painful, harmful distraction is the only thing on my mind and the disorder won't stop until it gets what it wants. The anxiety can linger above you like a rain cloud that is constantly filling up, getting ready to release its flood gates and you can do one of three things:

  1. Do nothing
  2. Harm yourself
  3. Break out those coping mechanisms

If you chose number one, doing nothing about your anxiety can lead to anxiety attacks. And from personal experiences, they aren't fun.

If you chose number two, harmful behavior can look different. Whether it be physical pain or degrading comments to yourself, it's all harmful. Beating yourself up only feeds the disorder and can actually take you backwards instead of forward, contrary to what the anxiety tells you.

Now if you chose number three, you have had experience. Coping skills vary from self-care (spa days, manicures, face makes, etc.) to getting down and dirty outside on a muddy hike. I highly recommend getting an adult coloring book and creating a "good vibes" playlist on Spotify and finding a safe space, where you find yourself comfortable, and relaxing.

People think that anxiety is just worrying a lot and they will tell you to “Just let it go.” That’s not the case. There isn’t always a reason to be anxious. Sometimes it just sneaks up on you like an unpredictable, excessive, life-crippling monster who tells you that you aren't good enough and you should expect the worst in every situation.

Here is a list of the top three lies my anxiety tells me:

  1. "You aren't good enough"
  2. "These people don't like you"
  3. "This is all your fault"

If you're like me and feel like you aren't good enough, this can lead to damaging insecurities. You will try everything you possibly can to be perfect. But in reality, no one and nothing is perfect. You have to learn this thought and live with it. Live. You deserve to be here. You are good enough.

If your anxiety tells you people don't like you, you may feel like you need to improve yourself to get their approval. You don't need to change your attitudes and morals. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, so be it. You are important and don't need toxic people bringing you down. But nine times out of ten, the people you think don't like you, actually do like you. It's the anxiety telling you they don't and trying to bring you down.

It's not your fault. Some situations are out of your control. Other's relationships, natural disasters, or even political mishaps—they are all situations that can be stress provoking, but you didn't cause them. Unless you told your friend that his girlfriend cheated, opened up a dam that flooded a city, or rigged the presidential election, it's not your fault. One more time for the people in the back: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

The disorder, that 18.1 percent of Americans suffer from, tells us these three lies and more on a daily basis. And may I say yet again, they are lies. There is no truth behind them and it makes it so hard to tell yourself they are lies because it's all you know. Everyday you get the constant nagging reminder that "You aren't good enough," or that "The people laughing on the other side of the room are laughing at you." It's hard to change that mindset, but I will tell you that it's possible.

People should really start to understand that we don’t choose this and that just because they worry sometimes doesn't mean they have anxiety disorder. Anxiety is a distraction in my day-to-day life and I have been working with my psychiatrist to create the perfect "cocktail" of drugs to help give me relief from my disorder. We can’t chose when the monster comes out or what day the storm cloud is going to burst. But we can learn to differentiate between the lies and what we know is true.

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About the Creator

Michaela Switzer

Hey everyone! I'm an aspiring writer and am studying to become a psychologist. I'm diagnosed with anorexia purge type, depression and anxiety. I hope to be able to share experiences with you and hopefully help those who are struggling.

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