Letter to my Lindes

Dear Linde,

I would not have been a good mom, I was too fucked up to think about anything but myself for my childbearing and rearing years. Moms have the hardest job in the world and the world decided to have mercy on me and my unborn children. I would have loved them fiercely, but, you see, I didn’t love myself enough to love another being as deeply as a child deserves.

All three of us are lucky I get to be your Auntie, trust me. I know your mamas and they are two badass, powerful women who did the world a favor by deciding to give birth to your sweet souls. And because I will never have my own little Linde, I want to tell you what I would have told my little girl if I had the chance.

Your mind is malleable, Linde. It is a powerful tool and it will serve you well, but it will serve you best if you understand you are also her guardian. People will tell you things that will be hurtful and hateful, it is your job to use your mind to reject those messages. Do not let anything into your mind but love. Be her gatekeeper and tend to her; the world will plant ideas in your mind when you are little that will form the way you think for the rest of your life. Some of them will be helpful, some of them will be harmful.

You are not alone in this and not everyone will do what you are capable of; you can change your mind when it isn’t being helpful. You are in control of your mind, no one else, but you. It isn’t easy, but you are strong and you have everything you need to undo that which does not serve you. Love your mind, give her lots of love, grace, and compassion. Be patient with her, nurture her, and challenge her in ways that inspire you.

Your heart is bigger and more powerful than your mind will ever know. You can trust your heart, she will never betray you. She will get hurt and she will feel broken, but your heart is resilient and capable of amazing things. She will guide you if you listen, she is always there for you. Share her freely and openly as best you can.

People who don’t handle her with care are probably hurting more than the pain they will cause you. Your heart can find compassion for those who hurt her. Do not close your heart because of other people’s negligence, no one and nothing is worth closing your heart. Learn to expand your heart to be with pain that comes your way; the tidal wave of love that lives in her is big enough to wash away any pain this world can cause. Your job is to learn to listen to your heart, she is always communicating. Follow your heart, sweet girl.

My Linde, your body is perfect, in every way. She is a miracle and thrives on gratitude and respect. Love her and listen to her, she is the only one you will get in this lifetime. You will be told every message under the sun about your body. Ignore all of them, they do not honor the profound beauty and infinite complexity of how she serves you and what she is capable of doing for you. She will carry you through your biggest accomplishments and your biggest defeats fairly and in the same way. She responds best to loving requests and gentle coercion, avoid using punishing remarks and shameful commentary if you want to see what she is truly capable of doing. She can be stronger than you could ever imagine, and if she gets sick, trust her to find her way back to wholeness and health, it is her natural state of being.

Every curve, every wrinkle, every spot, freckle, and mole is exactly as it should be. If anyone says otherwise, let it blow by like the wind. What others say has nothing to do with your perfection. Thank your body daily, for running and jumping, laughing, and loving. Also thank her for aching, crying, and hurting. There is much to be learned in the depths of pain and your body can handle it, she will stay strong through all of it. Respect her and she will be your best friend until the day you fade away to heaven.

You have a soul, your soul knows things in a different way than your mind. When you get really quiet, your soul will talk to you. Her voice is quieter than your mind, but you’ll know her by her persistent, consistent messages. Her communication will be like the baseline in a song, repetitive and powerful in a subtle but very imp0rtant way. When you learn to listen to her, you will never want to leave her again. She will guide you through life and it will be best to consult her first when you need to make decisions. In tough times, be sure to ask her for support, she is your best ally and she has magical, universal connections I don’t think anyone fully understands. Come to know her, she wants to be known and she will lead you to the most beautiful and fulfilling moments in your life.

Your job in this lifetime, little one, is to be as true to yourself as you possibly can. The way to this truth is to know yourself. Know yourself by paying attention to your mind, heart, body, and soul. You will feel it when these four parts of you are in alignment. It will feel like nothing in the world can stop you, it will feel like your heart is singing, like the freedom of a bird flying high in a bright blue sky.

I love you.

Love,

Linde