Let's Talk About Drugs

Let's talk about drugs. I've done them all. So after years of bad decisions I've got some stories to tell. Maybe a little background first. I'm Luc or Lucas known better as Lucifer, 31, spent my life moving around and was always the odd kid. This made it easy for me to get in with the "wrong crowd" real fast. Anyway I'll come back to that at a later time. So as mentioned I was in with some shady people over the years. I for a time worked as an enforcer for a lady who sold drugs for a well known bike club, in Alberta. I was 21 when I was introduced. It was after buying substantial quantities of meth and coke, personal use but still a half oz. of each at the start... Anyway I was after having been dismissed from service for related reasons and my fiancé had left me after fucking around on me with a cop and filing false charges against me, so I was young, angry, and willing to fight with a heavy addiction problem. I got introduced and apparently they seen potential because I got offered work before I wanted or needed it. I accepted anyway. The first job was to deal with an informant. Guy was a piece of shit, used to threaten my buddy's old lady and her 4 year old daughter, guy even tried to steal my car once...

The day it went down I was spun, gacked right out. I showed up to the bosses house whatever time of day, afternoon at least and had a few beers. I didn't know the job was about to go down. Wasn't nearly ready. So the guy showed up and I guess didn't remember trying to jack my car a weekish before but he didn't know me. The beers were Keith's, twist top. Guy was so high he couldn't figure out how to take off the cap. The boss went inside my cue to work.

I offered to remove the cap and guy hands me the beer, I took it like I was going to pop the cap and then like it was instinct smashed him in the face so hard it not only popped the cap off it broke the bottle and caused me to have cut half his face off, not right off but forehead to nose was cut deeply and dangling off his face. I started punching him, he dropped. I typically work construction so usually have on steeltoes. He wasn't a lucky man. As soon as he hit the ground my boots hit him. I'm not a small guy, 6'2" 220 common weight, was a super heavy weight boxer in high school and was real high on meth. I kicked him about 10 times before he managed to roll over and attempt to get up. As I said he wasn't a lucky guy. When he rolled and got on his knees it positioned my next kick to connect with his left eye socket. It hit square and his already badly mangled face exploded under impact. Around this time I look up and see this 80ish year old man and his granddaughter, I assume, standing on the sidewalk watching.

That was definitely the only luck the guy had that day. He never passed out. While he was crying out for me to not kill him and bleeding like I'd never seen a man bleed before, and I've watched people die, I screamed at him to get the fuck out of my town or I'd finish the job and walked in the house and had a beer. I was shaking from the adrenaline when the boss and her son came up to congratulate me on a job done well and make me their new enforcer. The informant, the guy had been my predecessor and I had just retired him as kindly as happens in that job.

I seen him a few days later with his head bandaged up leaving the hospital. Last time he ever set foot in town. Do I feel bad about it? I honestly don't know. I still think about it, some days I regret it, other days I brag. It definitely played a role in who I am now. Now I'm a guy trying to piece his life together and move on. Trying to stay clean, trying to stay out of jail permanently, and trying to have a functional family after spending most of my life high or fucked up some how. I think it gave me a better way of viewing society and I grew a conscience after a while, but I'm still very flawed and broken as fuck. Most of my friends are dead and I've lost years with my family, my parents. But now I'm turning a new page and for the first time in years I don't want to die, I feel I can still make a positive footprint in the world. But because of who I was and what I did some people will only ever seen me as Lucifer and not as Lucas. Price you pay for being a shit person. But I'll share more later.