Learning to Accept Your Shadow Self

As a doctoral researcher fascinated by psychological and behavioral studies, I enjoy gathering insights surrounding our personalities. It was fascinating to learn about the “shadow self” — especially their role in driving emotional triggers.

The Shadow Self:

The psychological concept of the “shadow” was introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung.

Jung’s concept of the shadow implies that there are certain aspects of our personalities that we disregard and suppress, both intentionally and unintentionally.

Everyone has these shadowy aspects that are hard to confront and accept. Thus, they are buried down in the unconscious, lying dormant until a situation arises.

As Jung noted in his 1951 book called Aion,

“The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.”

As Jung suggested, our shadow self is a mosaic of suppressed parts within our personality. These hidden feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, are seen as unacceptable and threatening.

In the end, we mentally separate ourselves from those unacceptable images, unable to accept the truth.

Examples of Shadow Behavior:

Here are some examples of the “shadow behavior” in action. These include:

Identifying Your Shadow Self:

I have come up with three ways to help you identify your shadow self. This is intended to increase your self-awareness.

1) Listing All Emotional Triggers

To tackle your shadow personality, you have to figure out what your emotional triggers are. You then have to figure out why you are having those emotional triggers.

It might be a good idea to jot them down in a personal journal, to help make sense of the thoughts floating in your mind. Perhaps you end up discovering some hidden emotional trauma or baggage.

While doing so, try to understand and analyze your different emotions. For instance, analyze your interpretation of humiliation, rage, terror, guilt, or any other unpleasant emotion. Instead of shoving it away, break it down and simplify.

2) Acknowledging Underlying Issues and Thoughts

To figure out the underlying issues surrounding your shadow personality, you have to acknowledge and accept the unpleasant ideas and feelings that reside in you.

A person who is whole and possesses a high degree of self-awareness is someone who experiences varied emotions and is willing to own up to them. For instance, they will go through anger, anxiety, guilt, fear, or other negative emotions.

They will accept their emotions for what they are and do not condemn themselves for experiencing them.

Accepting your negative emotions is an essential part of understanding your shadow self. Without accepting your negative emotions, you cannot rid yourself of your bad feelings.

3) Getting Professional Support

If your shadow behavior is connected with past traumas then confrontation may be a bit painful or uncomfortable to manage. Yet, it still has to be addressed to get clarity surrounding your situation.

A healthier and effective way to address the potential root cause is to seek professional help, such as from a therapist. You can also try out other productive activities, such as art therapy, drama, dance class, and many more.

Final Takeaways

If you want to confront your shadow self you have to accept and be compassionate towards your previously unknown and suppressed parts. If you are facing problems while identifying your shadow self (due to trauma), professional help can aid you.

Most importantly, by confronting previously suppressed emotions and experiences, you will be able to eventually address your shadow self — and you’ll gain a greater sense of self-awareness.

As Steve Wolf once famously said,

“The shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life.”

Thank you for reading ❤

Disclaimer: The original version of this story was published on another platform.

Link to original version: https://medium.com/preoccupy-negative-thoughts/learning-to-accept-your-shadow-self-7ed294722127

References

Bolea, Ș. (2016). The persona and the shadow in analytic psychology and existential philosophy. Philobiblon, 21(1), 84–94.

Bastos, F. (2021, October 29). Shadow self: How knowing your dark side can help you in life. MindOwl. https://mindowl.org/shadow-self/

Diamond, S. A. (2021, January 3). Essential secrets of psychotherapy: What is the “shadow”? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evil-deeds/202101/essential-secrets-psychotherapy-what-is-the-shadow

Jeffrey, S. (2021, February 3). A definitive guide to Jungian shadow work: How to get to know and integrate your dark side. CEOsage. https://scottjeffrey.com/shadow-work/

Jung, C. G. (1951). Aion: Researches into the phenomenology of the self. Princeton University Press. https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/729924.Aion

Othon, J. E. (2020, August 8). Shadow self and carl Jung: The ultimate guide to the human dark side. HighExistence. https://highexistence.com/carl-jung-shadow-guide-unconscious/

Schenck, L. (2014, November 26). Identify & accept your shadow self. Mindfulness Muse. https://www.mindfulnessmuse.com/individual-differences/identify-accept-your-shadow-self