Keeping a straight face with others because "it doesn't matter how I feel"

Why do some people always seem so cold, they never cry, and they never really laugh? Because they've grown up with a core subconscious belief that "how I feel doesn't matter." We know that some people are naturally less sensitive and can appear dull. Unlike those who are dull, their feelings are actually very sensitive, but they are repressed. Their whole state is relatively tight, as if they have made some mistake. It can be seen that their childhood living environment is relatively bad. They can't build up trust in their families, and they can't even cry or laugh without seeing others' faces.

The feeling of being ignored in childhood

The child crying itself is expressing a need, but some parents think the child crying is "unlucky", so they harshly criticize the child. There are other parents who find their children crying upsetting. In order to make the child stop crying, by any means to scare the child, beat the child. In the child's perception, they cry to express their needs, but they are criticized. So how I feel inside is not important to them. Over time, they become more and more apathetic and distant from their families. Even if the parents want to reconnect with each other, it is impossible because the children have lost trust in them.

A crying child is an upset thing for parents. But why do happy, laughing children also make parents uncomfortable? Some parents are very jealous. When they are upset, they do not want to see others happy. You've probably heard your parents say, "I'm so upset right now, can you do something instead of just standing there laughing?" Very few parents, when they see their child laughing, will deliberately hit the child to cry. Such parents are not only jealous, but also manipulative. "Whether you laugh or cry, it must be in my hands." In order to protect themselves, children will try to suppress their inner feelings.

Grow up to be cold

'My feelings don't matter'

Children who grow up in a family like that develop a core belief: "How I feel doesn't matter." Such a person will grow up and live with this belief. Why don't they have sad, sad faces? Why not laugh? Why are there no tears? Why is the face always cold appearance? The answer is, "It doesn't matter how I feel." Some people want to close the distance and tell them jokes. But they never laugh, or just to hide the embarrassment. They may have long forgotten the feelings they were left out of childhood, but their core beliefs remain, and they simply feel that their feelings don't matter.

Instinctive self-preservation

They don't express any of their feelings, forming an instinctive way of protecting themselves. What happened to them in childhood may be hard to tell. In any case, they still have memories of being scolded whether they laugh or cry. When they grow up, they have developed an instinct. And indeed, by keeping a cold face, they protect themselves very well. No one dared to approach them, and no one tried to break into their fragile hearts. Keeping all your feelings bottled up inside creates a natural protective barrier. All people face this barrier, will feel a kind of pressure, will consciously back away.

Occasionally sober: "These years good injustice"

Emotional repression for a long time, will appear numb, cold, but there will still be a moment of clarity. Sometimes, emotions pile up to a point and they just come out naturally. They suddenly feel that they've been a little hard done by all these years. Exactly where the grievance, it seems impossible to say. In fact, they are wronged because no one can accept their feelings, no one is willing to listen to their tears, no one is willing to listen to their laughter. These thoughts are, of course, mental projections. They treat everyone as their parents and think everyone will reject their feelings. It's comforting to know that even a second of clarity will unlock their inner world and save them.

How to release inner feelings?

How you feel matters

Break down your core beliefs and stop thinking that your feelings don't matter. Your passions, your warmth and your thinness are the best response to the world. A few people may ignore your feelings, but realize that not everyone cares so much about your feelings. Only the people who are really good to you will care about your feelings. Don't take everyone as a "bad guy", you want to feel, to experience the cold and thin in the world. It's only when you let your inner feelings out that you connect with the world. This connection is a nourishment for you. This will give you great strength and help you overcome difficulties.

Express practice

If you want to let go of your inner feelings, practice expression. You may have a lot going on inside of you, but try to express it in the most accurate words possible. Don't think it in your head, say it out loud. Be able to hear and affirm all your feelings. It may not be accurate at first, but don't be discouraged. You can try it word by word. Is it joy? It isn't. Is it fun? That doesn't seem to be accurate. Is it satisfaction? Yeah, that's what it feels like. Say it out loud, let your ears hear it, and you'll be sure of how you feel. When you can acknowledge your own feelings, you can do things spontaneously, without having to look at other people's faces.

In short, people who think their feelings don't matter are the result of repressing their feelings for a long time. Only by releasing the inner feelings, can we meet life better.