Journal Entry April 7th 2021

Im writing this as my first blog. I feel like most people can relate in some way. We're all human and we all have our ups and downs. There isn't much context, but if you read this I hope it helps you in some way.

This is what I wrote in my journal this morning:

"It seems that lately I've been battling with myself nearly everyday. Some days I am unexplainably sad and other days I feel like I couldn't be happier. For a while now its been hard for me keep my head where my feet are. For the first many months of being home, I was more than content with how I live. Being alone with my own thoughts and being with my family was something that provided with me so much peace. Nothing has changed, but for the past few month its been hard for me to find that peace as easily. I've been focusing on external variables that I have no control of rather than focusing on myself and what is going on in my day to day life. Simply put, I've been in a very negative headspace.

Its okay to feel this way but the problem is that I can't just accept this negativity and sulk in the sadness. I need to remind myself how worth it this past year at home has been. I've only got a few more months to be here with my family and I need to appreciate the time I have left. If I continue to think so negatively and do nothing to help myself Ill just go backwards and revert back to where I started.

I cant let that happen. I have control of my emotions. Life is a path that leads to ultimate happiness. There are obstacles on the path but if you try to go around them you will fall off the edge and its hard to climb back on track. You have to work through these obstacles and continue on. I feel like right now Im kind of just sitting in front of one of these obstacles and its time to move straight through it.

Everything is going to work out. I have so many amazing things waiting for me in the future. But what I need to remind myself is that what I have right now is amazing in itself. Im doing myself no good by just waiting on the future. I don't need to wait it out. Why not be thankful and enjoy my life for what it is right now.

The end goal is never as joyful if you sacrifice all of your happiness in the time it took to reach it."

So yeah, that's how Im feeling at the moment. Having a positive mindset 24/7 is hard. But we're all trying. Keep goin. Be proud of yourself.

peacenlove