It's not your fault

At times like this, it's easy to slip away. Self isolation can be hard, it's okay. When you're depressed, you self isolate on your own, in your own way. Even in a crowded room you can feel alone, but at least there's some distraction.

But now, in this high stress society, we find that all of us are stuck at home. While home can be a haven when you want to be there, it can also be a prison when you want to leave. You're having some bad thoughts. That voice in your head won't shut up and let you breathe.

You feel ashamed, agitated, lethargic, alone...

You feel alone.

You're kicking yourself in the ass for something stupid you said five years ago and you thought you were past this. But that's what happens when your stuck at home with no distractions. Suddenly, there are all of these mental health hurdles to jump and they seem like mountains.

All the stuff you've put on the back burner in your mind starts to eat at you. You thought you were over this, you were doing fine, going out with friends, smiling more and laughing more. It sucks! It hurts!

But you'll be okay. I know you're tired of hearing this, but it's true. You'll be okay and we can get through this. Take a breath just to remind yourself that you CAN breathe. Now let it go.

Go take a shower, drink a glass of water, read a book, go on a hike.

That's right, you can still do that, go for a hike. Just wash your hands, don't touch your face, and stay 6 feet away from everyone else. It's crazy, right? Something that simple didn't used to have to many steps.

But you're doing fine, see?

I know you're tired of hearing it. I'm not denying that you hurt, I'm not saying this will take away the pain or cure you. I did therapy and believe me, after hearing the term coping mechanism about fifty times a day, I was sick of it too.

But it gets better, hang in there. I believe in you. I know you're doing your best, and you need someone there. I know you need a distraction. Call your mom, your best friend, or one of the dedicated professionals operating the suicide hotline.

No, you aren't wasting their time, that's why they are there. Even if you just want to talk, they are there for you. So breathe and pick up the phone. The world doesn't want to lose you to this.

The virus isn't the only thing out there we are battling. We are all battling ourselves and trying our hardest to pull it together and stay sane. I promise you are not alone. Just ask someone, they are right there with you.

You're doing a great job. Please, give yourself some credit. You made it this far, didn't you? I'm proud of you. So many people are proud of you. You are not the enemy and we need you here with us. This epidemic won't go away if we don't stick together.

So pick up that phone and call, because the other person might be feeling the same. If you can't do it for you, do it for them. These times are hard on all of us. Maybe your sister needs you here right now?

Maybe she feels just like you do but you don't know it because you're so caught up. Maybe your best friend feels it too.

So get on skype, have a damned skype party. Be there for each other. you need them and most importantly, they need you.

I'm not good tough love, but here it is. So take my advice. Breathe, remember this will all pass, love yourself, and stick around. The world is brighter with you in it.