Bad things happen all the time and sometimes they happen to good people. When something bad does occur, all those times you told yourself it happens to other people it doesn’t happen to me. The reality is that yes, it happens to others and that’s horrible, but you no longer can say those words when it happens to you. I used to do what I know some people do when faced with a situation that can have multiple outcomes. I would tell myself that it could have been a lot worse, that I got lucky, and some don’t. I justified the pain it caused me by saying those things and comparing my situations to others who have gone through it.
It happened at work on a Tuesday in September, year 2007 around 7pm. A co-worker was running late, but I received a call telling me he was on his way. A this point I had been at the job for a couple months, but I felt confident I would be okay by myself until he got there. It was a busy evening, but nothing I couldn’t handle, and I was doing great until I wasn’t. It was just me and one other customer in the store at the time and he seemed like a nice guy. Until later that night I was not aware that he was casing the store and I was robbed.
I was always told growing up if you get robbed give them what they want, but don’t let them take you. When this person asked for the money in the cash drawer it’s like I went on auto pilot and all my emotions were gone. I gave him the money because even though he didn’t show he had a weapon you never really know. As the robber was leaving, he turned and looked at me and he said thank you. Never in a million years did I think a robber was going to thank me, but he did.
Once he left, I called the cops immediately and ironically no other customers came in during or after he left. I was in shock when calling 911, but I answered everything I could and before I knew it the doors were locked, and the cops were there. My co-worker showed up along with the store owner not long after. My emotions finally took over after the cops showed up and I started balling, until I was asked to help the cops look at the camera footage. After showing them the footage and answering the questions they had, I went outside to where my parents were. I don’t remember calling them or how the other co-workers knew and showed up, but when I went outside, I hugged my parents, my brother and a few of my co-workers before going home.
I had a few days off after that and was scheduled to go into work Saturday. Since the robbery the new rule was that no one was supposed to work alone. Unfortunately, that rule wasn’t put into place until the Manager got back from his vacation a week later. Saturday morning 4 days after the robbery a co-worker and friend of mine was stuck working by herself. I don’t know why I went in earlier than I was supposed to, but I felt the need to because I knew she was scared being alone. Another reason I went in early is because I needed to fight my own fear of going into work and it was my first day back since that evening.
Everything was going fine until the robber came back in and I recognized him. He knew I had recognized him and walked back outside not long after entering. I didn’t want to say anything while he was still in the store, but as soon as he left, I told my co-worker and she called 911 and was able to see what car he drove. Having him come back in freaked us both out even more, but the detective that came to see me a couple days later told me they knew who the guy was. The detective showed me some mug shots and I picked him out of the selection quickly and he was caught. I am not sure what really happened to him, but I know he had to pay the money back and he was issued a restraining order on the shopping center and me. I was told that not only was he a first-time robber, but that he was debating between robbing the gas station across the street or my work.
Since that experience I am very wary of people and being alone with someone in a store. Though, I still choose to trust people I am also cautious of them as well. After the robbery I thought about quitting because so much was going on. There were rumors going around the shopping center that I was a part of the robbery because I had only been there for 2 months. Another rumor going around is that I was friends with a relative of the robber. Until the rumors were told to me by a co-worker, I was not aware people thought that or that the person I would talk to occasionally was a relative of the guy. Another issue I had going on is that the co-worker that was running late that night kept telling me what he would do if he was in my situation. It was hard to overcome all that, but I did, and I ended up working there for 11 years.
I was suffering in silence because I was comparing my situation to other people’s situations. Not to mention I had other things I was suffering with, so I became really depressed and I hate to admit it, but I was suicidal. My mom told me the magic word that help tremendously, and that word is FORGIVE. I must forgive people not for them but for myself, otherwise I will drown in suffering which it was doing. Saying out loud that I forgive and why I was forgiving was like a weight off my shoulders. I now do that anytime I come into situations that I need to let go of.
I learned that yeah, my situation was mild compared to others, but no one not even myself should use that as an excuse. Something horrible happened to me, I can’t compare it to others, and I can’t downplay it either. No matter the severity of my situation it left me with scars. They might not be physical scars, but there are emotional scars I carry around.
It has been 14 years since that evening, and I have come a long way. The robbery hits my mind occasionally, but not as much as it used to. I hope to those who suffered something horrible in their lives are okay and have someone that will help you heal from the wounds your experience gave you. That you learn to forgive the person who hurt you because by forgiving them you are no longer their prisoner. Use your experience as a lesson you carry around in life, but no longer let that person control it. Forgive and live, but never forget.
About the Creator
Hidden Costs and Lasting Shame of Financial Abuse
I’ve always been responsible with my money. I have a job that pays decently, although (like many in our inflated economy) I should definitely be making more for what I do. I regularly check my credit score. I don’t eat out much, nor do I spend frivolously on non-essentials.
By Veronica Wren23 days ago in Psyche
The secret journey to regaining emotional stability
Do you feel that the anxious and avoidant types both seem to be strong and independent, but in fact they are sensitive and fragile. They often fall into emotions because of small things and start to be anxious and avoidant? If anxious and avoidant types want to change these, what they actually need is to compensate for their missing parts and heal their injured parts. In this issue, we will teach the avoidant and anxious types how to cultivate themselves again, making their emotions more stable, more rational in relationships, and at the same time gaining the ability to actively output emotional value. If anxious and avoidant types want to overcome the sensitive and fragile parts of themselves and obtain stable emotions, they need not only cognitive adjustments, but also need to heal the traumatized parts of themselves and compensate for the regretful parts of themselves. For example, the regret of the avoidant type is that they have not been paid serious attention to and have never truly rebelled. Therefore, the avoidant type will not fight for their own needs in many situations, resulting in uncomfortable situations and relationships, and they are always running away and wandering. The trauma of the anxious type is that they are trapped in unstable relationships and have been hurt by the instability in intimate relationships. The slightest fluctuation will make the anxious type feel nervous and anxious. Therefore, anxious and avoidant types are inherently fragile, sensitive, and unstable. In summary, these reasons are that something is missing during the growth stage, or they have suffered some trauma, so if you want to solve these problems, this is the time. Compensate when you need to compensate, heal when you need to heal, exercise when you need to exercise, just treat yourself as a child and raise yourself again. If the avoidant and anxious types re-train themselves, what kind of growth can they gain? First of all, emotions will become more and more stable. For example, you can be aware of your emotions at the first time, avoid emotions from affecting your thoughts and judgments, and learn to regulate your emotions. Secondly, you can truly understand yourself and know your real needs and fears. In the process of re-nurturing yourself, you can clearly understand your needs and fears, that is, you can know why you are attracted to a certain person, why you behave like this, and then you can better understand what you need.
By angelababyabout 5 hours ago in Psyche
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.