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Is Is Just Me

by J.W. Baird about a month ago in humanity

I have always felt that I never fit in!

I think as we are little, we make friends more easily. No one judges each other it is just that simple and intuitively.

But as we grow up and continue to learn. Our experiences start to shape us. We are no longer the same person when we were first born.

The sweetness and innocence get lost in the process. As we change over time with each of our losses.

With words spoken by others to hurt us. Some intentionally, and some without a thought first.

When growing up in a community with little diversity. You know soon enough you don't quite fit in when you are a minority.

It's extremely difficult when you're caught in between two worlds. Feeling lost, and alone knowing it is you that is so different.

Being one out of a handful within your school with a diverse ethnicity. Sometimes, you think to yourself, it would better to run away, move, or get lost in a bigger city.

To not grow up in your traditional ways, speaking your native language, or dressing a certain way. It's hard to feel welcomed, within your own community, still to this day.

To speak up for yourself, and advocate for others. While those who are in influential spaces try to silence all our voices.

To never feel supported or worth fighting for, can often lead to self-destruction and shake a person right down to their core.

We all know someone who got picked last for the team, did not get invited to prom, or was unable to fulfill a dream.

To not fit it, I do not believe there is one person out there who has not felt like this at least once in their life. We all have bad experiences those memories that cut like a knife.

I can go back through my mind, all of those times, as I am reminded of when I felt like I did not fit in or got picked on by others.

For those who have never fit in, it hits harder when it lasts for what seems like forever. To see all your “so called” friends on social media hanging out with one another.

To never fit in hasn’t always had a negative affect on me. But there are those days where it messes with my own psyche, it can play tricks with one’s mentality.

Not fitting in can have repercussions of its own. Seeing the outcome on the evening news. It does not take that much to make a person feel respected, show you are somewhat interested in what they say or how they feel. If you choose not to have any compassion or empathy there is no excuse.

Not fitting in because of the way you look I think is the worst, because it is out of one’s control. Yes, you can dye your hair, or wear new clothes, but that does not change who you are.

No matter when it was that you did not feel like you fit in. Whether it is currently occurring or in your past. Those thoughts continue to remain in your head and always seem to last.

You can be the dumbest person in the room or the smartest, and still feel like you do not fit in. It is not something that is written in the stars, or something that can determine you will only go so far.

Instead of looking at it as a downfall, maybe we should all start looking at it as a badge of honor. Why would anyone want to fit in when you were made to standout! To bring your unique personality into this world.

So, I say stop worrying about what others think of you!

Live your life to the fullest from the day you take your first breath until the day you are finally buried. You may feel like you do not fit in… but take it from me, it has made me who I am today. Independent, Fierce, and Tough, and that is what will get me through when things really get rough.

It can be a blessing in disguise!

J.W. Baird
J.W. Baird
Read next: Never In the Cover of Night
J.W. Baird

Who Am I?

I keep asking myself. I spent half of my life as a single mother. Pushing myself to be the strong independent individual that I have always been. My kids have grown and my life seems turned upside down.

I now search to find myself!

See all posts by J.W. Baird

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