Is Europe a Country?

              My father once said, “Don’t show your anger; there is always someone looking to laugh at you. Don’t give them the satisfaction.” Every quote or piece of life advice my father has given me was taken seriously. As a teen, I was quick to react, and he was quick to notice. At the time, I ignored it, thinking that it was my right to show everyone how angry I was. As I got older, I realized he was right. How many times did it satisfy me to know I got under someone’s skin?  How many times did it bother me that I got no reaction? If I’m being honest, a few times. My biggest trigger was being corrected. I noticed this in others as well.

              Vera was in her late 20s when her ex asked her via text if Europe was a country. She couldn’t remember what a continent was and sneakily looked it up on her phone. She had responded with “That’s a continent.” He seemed impressed and explained how surprised she’d be to know that not too many remember that Europe is a continent. Intrigued, Vera made it her mission to find out if it was true. She wanted real, in-your-face reactions. She made sure to only ask those who were face-to-face with her. There was too much risk in asking over the phone or text; they could pretend, just as she did.

Vera had worked for a locally owned supply store, and every now and then, employees would come hang out in the area where Vera worked. In the spur of the moment, in front of other workers, Vera asked a coworker if Europe was a country. He immediately answered yes. Once Vera corrected him, his tone took a shift, and he then took the conversation to a completely different subject. He asked Vera how many moons Saturn had. When she claimed that she didn’t know, his ridicule began. As a joke, she simply said, “Well, I don’t live there”. He began claiming he was smarter because he knew about space facts. Vera then asked him how many moons Earth had, and he claimed there were zero. Vera questioned what he thought was in the sky every night. He still claimed that she didn’t know anything, then walked out of the office while Vera laughed.

              Vera was being taken home by her date when she asked the same question: "Is Europe a country?"  Before she asked, she told him that the way he answered would tell her a lot about him. He said yes, and she corrected him by telling him that Europe is a continent, not a country. His tone escalated and became aggressive. He began claiming that she was calling him dumb. Vera simply said, “It just means you didn’t know”. He didn’t like this and began yelling. After he dropped her off, they never spoke again. On a different date with a different person, Vera asked the same question, and he quickly said yes. She told him it was a continent. Then something different happened that hadn’t happened before. There appeared to be no resistance in acknowledging that he was wrong. They laughed about it. There was no change in tone, nor was there a redirection. The conversation continued normally. If you ask Vera, she’d tell you that she admired this reaction the most. This didn’t just happen when asking a trick question.

Ethan, his wife Grace, and their daughter, Vera, had gone to the store. As they were exiting, Grace had noticed a stray dog. When Grace said, “Oh, what a cute little mix breed!” Ethan made a point to correct Grace. He began stating that it was a mutt, not a mixed breed. Vera had asked, “Isn’t that the same thing?” Ethan told his daughter no, claiming there was a difference. She began explaining that it was the same and that “mutt” is just a derogatory term for a mixed-breed dog. He didn’t have a response for that. He began looking around. They passed a nearby trash can; he jokingly threatened, “How bout I just throw you in there?” Vera claimed, “You can, but that wouldn’t change the facts. Mixed and mut will still have the same meaning.” He then instructed her to get in the car before they left her.

Whether you're asking someone if Europe is a country or merely stating the facts, the trigger seems to be the same: being corrected.  This isn’t about Europe. This is about the reaction you give when you’re corrected.