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I’m Autistic

And I’m Not a Tragedy

By Audrey-Anne CantinPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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First of all, let me present myself. My name is Audrey-Anne, I’m 18 years old, I love making art, I love reading, and I’m also autistic.

Before actually getting a diagnosis, I felt absolutely hopeless. I knew I was different, that I was “abnormal” and such, I just didn’t know why, and so I wasn’t able to get the right tools to help me. Everything changed when I heard the words “Asperger’s syndrome” for the very first time on May 4th 2016. The description of it felt like a portrait of me, and it was like the weight of the world was finally lifted off my shoulders. To this day, I’m still in counseling, and I’m still trying to learn how to deal with my Autism, but happiness is finally present in my life.

I don’t need to be cured, nor do I want to be.

The most common reaction me and my parents got when announcing my diagnosis was “It can’t be! She’s too smart to be autistic!” or “But she can speak... It’s probably not it.” my parents actually had a small fight with someone who kept doubting my diagnosis simply because they thought they knew better than a trained professional. They didn’t even know any autistic person, yet because of the media’s bad portrayal of autism, people have this expectation that autistic people can’t ever function in society or seem “normal” or “neurotypical.”

They think that autism is something to be pitied, and they don’t see further than the “rain man” stereotype or the Sheldon stereotype from “Big Bang Theory.” And people always either think autism means being either slow minded or highly intelligent, but let me disappoint you on that one, because statistics say autistic people either have an average I.Q. (which, mind you, represents one’s ability to learn, and not their intelligence), or in some cases higher than average. But we’re no rain man! We’re not all Sheldons!

The fact is that every autistic person has different symptoms of autism, and some are able to seem neurotypical most of the time, while some are non-verbal (they don’t speak), or they have noticeable ticks and stimms, and either is fine! These symptoms aren’t representative of our worth as people. We are more than our autism.

I am not some sad little thing that needs help surviving in the “big scary world.” I do have special needs, but that’s only because I’m different than most of society, and all I ask of you is respect. I’ve heard of people being disregarded completely, and being spoken over while people felt the need to ask the person with them their order (for example) instead of directly asking them; and I’ve had a teacher literally give up on explaining something to me because I didn’t understand the phrasing and had asked her to say it differently. People don’t make the effort to understand us or our needs sometimes, and that just feeds the problem.

I’m not telling you I’m “normal.” I’m not! I am not part of the norm! I’m telling you that I’m different, and that I can still be understood if you just take the time to learn about me and accept my “abnormal” traits.

Here are some of mine:

  • extreme discomfort with eye contact
  • feeling heat more intensely with my mouth and hands
  • gradual loss of speech according to my level of anxiety or energy
  • reticence to touch, especially on my back and sides
  • photosensitivity (gets worse as I tire)

And that’s only some of them.

My name is Audrey-Anne, I’m 18, I love making art, I love reading, and I’m not just autistic.

I’m also a great singer and a great artist. I’m the type of person that gets so lost in a book that I forget the world around me, and cry for the characters. I’m a music lover and I listen to almost every type there is. I’m passionate and curious. I take care of the people around me and make sure they’re ok. I am so much more than my autism.

It’s about time people start focusing on the person we are instead of not seeing past our condition.

humanity
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