If you don’t know it, you will lose control and become anxious.

Anxiety is mostly a normal physical and mental response to stress, and it is a positive way of coping. The essence of anxiety is a fear of potential loss of control.

Anxiety is mostly a normal physical and mental response to stress. Such as:

Students have test anxiety,

20+ of you have survival anxiety,

30+ of you have occupational anxiety, marital anxiety,

40+ of you have age anxiety, family anxiety,

60+ of you are beginning to face aging anxiety, loneliness anxiety, death anxiety and so on.

When faced with challenging tasks, everyone feels anxious.

When I was studying, it was probably in the first year of junior high school, when my math grades were particularly good. At one class meeting, the teacher had a sudden whim and asked me to come to the stage to share my experience in learning mathematics.

I thought to myself, this doesn't cheat me, I'm totally unprepared. At that time, my heart was in panic, the whole world was spinning, I don't know how to get to the stage. On the stage, I couldn't say a word. Before and after, I might be silent for half a minute, and the teacher would not help me out.

I felt embarrassed, and I felt I had to say a few words, but when I opened my mouth, it was fragmented words and stammered. I became even more nervous. I felt that the whole world was looking at me with disgusting expressions and cast contemptuous glances at me. My mind was full of other people’s evaluations: "Look, Zeng Min, who is so good in mathematics, can't even talk. I don't know how to say." "Yes, I didn't expect that he is such a person, too bad." "Hahaha, he looks so stupid."...

In the end, I don’t know how I got off the stage. I didn't even dare to look at the reactions of the students around me, for fear of confirming the horror fantasy in my mind. I just muttered silently in my heart, this time is over, the image is completely ruined. Damn class teacher.

Since then, I have been very cautious about any chance of showing up. If there is anything, let me know in advance and I must be 200% ready. It must never happen again.

In fact, this mentality has brought me a lot of positive influences, especially in my college career, I have achieved many results. Every time I take an exam, I have to thoroughly understand every knowledge point I have learned; every time I give a speech on stage, I have to memorize the verbatim manuscript at least three times; for every certificate exam, I have to do N sets of mock papers; so that I take the postgraduate entrance examination At that time, I prepared for half a year more than others. I started learning from the first semester of my junior year and began to recite professional courses. In the end, I was abruptly above the score.

So, in this way, the habit of "over-preparing because of anxiety" is not too bad. If you also have this habit, I believe you must have the same idea in your heart: "As long as you give me enough time, I believe I can accomplish anything challenging."

However, with the increasing pressure of studies, when there are more and more challenging things to face, I find that there is not enough time. I’m going to give a lecture tomorrow. Let me know tonight. I can’t write a 5,000-word verbatim manuscript in one night and memorize it three times. So the endless anxiety came.

I think the source of this anxiety is not that things are full of challenges, but your inherent mode of dealing with challenging things: that is, don't let "things get out of control". Once faced with a task, I must prepare it perfectly.

The essence of anxiety is a fear of potential loss of control.

Psychologist Freeston and others put forward that the degree of anxiety depends on "the degree of uncertainty that cannot be tolerated."

When the situation we face is unexpected, unknown, or uncertain, it will give us a feeling of being out of control and make us feel insecure. In the face of such loss of control or insecurity, we will feel anxious. The more obvious this kind of uncertainty and out of control, the higher our anxiety.

Out of fear of losing control, we will instinctively choose to escape, do not want to deal with anxiety and stress, become lazy, and do not want to do anything.

I want to deceive myself to be a "deception" and "comfort" myself: as long as I ignore the anxiety and don't face it, it will automatically disappear or be relieved. The fact is that if you do not act, the pressure will not be resolved, but will increase with the delay. Anxiety is not alleviated, but as the pressure increases, the more anxious one feels, the more messy life becomes.

How to get rid of anxiety?

Increase tolerance to fear

When we feel fear, the object of our fear is often vague and chaotic.

Making the things fearful can increase the tolerance for fear.

For example: the anxiety caused by public speaking to fear.

Specific description: Who is the target of your speech, how many people are there in total, what is the content of your speech, why do you want to give this speech, at what moment did you feel anxious, what did you do when you were anxious, think about it What wait.

Through these specific descriptions, you can become more familiar with and understand the anxious object and yourself, and thus become more in control of the whole situation, thereby increasing the tolerance to fear.

In short, in the face of pressure, adjust emotions, accept uncertainty, and be fully prepared, the higher the controllability will be, and the anxiety will be relieved.