I survived a Narcissist Sociopath, Part 3

Here’s the “Official” definition of a Narcissistic Sociopath”

*The American Psychiatric Association describes and defines both Narcissistic personality disorder is "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. Their cold callousness and lack of empathy for others, plus grandiose self-admiration and disdain for others equal a sociopathic narcissist who believes that he/she deserves to exploit people and dispose of them when finished.

This is what I’ve found to be frightening; According to studies researchers have found that 6% percent of the population possesses Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In addition, there’s an estimated 10% more that are undiagnosed and as if that’s not enough, there’s even more who present traits of the personality disorder.

Psychopath vs. Sociopath

What is a Sociopath?

A sociopath is actually a person with antisocial personality disorder. Antisocial personality disorder is defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the book which contains the diagnostic criteria for mental illnesses) as a cluster B personality disorder (those that are dramatic or emotional).

While sociopathy can only be diagnosed at the age of 18 or above, the following must be present before the age of 15 for the diagnosis:

Repeated violations of the law

Pervasive lying and deception

Physical aggressiveness

Reckless disregard for the safety of self or others

Consistent irresponsibility in work and family environments

Lack of remorse

Psychopathy can be thought of as a more severe form of sociopathy with more symptoms. Therefore, all psychopaths are sociopaths but sociopaths are not necessarily psychopaths.

According to the Society for the Study of Psychopathy, psychopath traits include:

Lack of guilt/remorse

Lack of empathy

Lack of deep emotional attachments

Narcissism

Superficial charm

Dishonesty

Manipulativeness

Reckless risk-taking

The Difference Between a Psychopath and Sociopath

While the traits of each may seem similar, it is thought that sociopaths have a less severe form of lack of empathy and lack of guilt. It is thought that sociopaths may be able to form some deep bonds (such as, possibly, with family) while a psychopath cannot (Can Psychopaths Love, Cry and Experience Joy?). Moreover, while a sociopath would feel no guilt about hurting a stranger, they may feel guilt and remorse over hurting someone with which they share a bond. Additionally, it appears that some of the very antisocial behavior in sociopaths lessens over time while this cannot be said of psychopaths (How To Recognize and Identify Psychopathic Behavior). Psychopaths appear to have no concern whatsoever of the consequences, while a sociopath may learn to avoid consequences over time by reducing antisocial behavior.

Finally, the presentation of one with psychopathy or sociopathy differs. According to Kelly McAleer, Psy.D,

"The psychopath is callous, yet charming. He or she will con and manipulate others with charisma and intimidation and can effectively mimic feelings to present as "normal" to society. The psychopath is organized in their criminal thinking and behavior, and can maintain good emotional and physical control, displaying little to no emotional or autonomic arousal, even under situations that most would find threatening or horrifying. The psychopath is keenly aware that what he or she is doing is wrong, but does not care.

"Conversely, the sociopath is less organized in his or her demeanor; he or she might be nervous, easily agitated, and quick to display anger. A sociopath is more likely to spontaneously act out in inappropriate ways without thinking through the consequences. Compared to the psychopath, the sociopath will not be able to move through society committing callous crimes as easily, as they can form attachments and often have 'normal temperaments.' . . ."

Both psychopaths and sociopaths are capable of committing horrific crimes, but a sociopath is less likely to commit them against those with whom there is a bond

The horrible truth that we cannot get into our heads is that someone could be like this. We question our own judgement because its inconceivable someone could behave like this. That’s what YOU MUST accept! THEY WILL NEVER CHANE! You cannot love them to be better. They are unlovable.

Narcissists are incapable of admitting they are wrong. Narcissists don't let the truth get in their way. They have NO CONSCIENCE

They constantly criticize you, demand perfection from others while at the same time hiding behind a mask of deception. They constantly attack you; your thought processes, motivations and all your emotional responses. They will point out everything all in the name of psychological abuse. Your personal struggles, secrets and intimate details of your past will be used against you and thrown in your face with the most venomous of assaults.

Narcissists are empty suits. They have perfected their fake personas and are the opposite of what they present to the outside. They don't have a developed conscience, so it doesn't bother them that they are continually betraying those closest to them. The narcissist is nothing but an actor, a game player. They pull the emotional strings of the individual for nothing more than their own personal power.

The NS has no authentic relationships. It is all fabrication. Their accomplishments are inflated even grandiose. They are devoid of feelings, empathy and compassion.

My abuser pretended. Our entire relationship was make-believe. He played me in addition to three others (that I know of) for as long as he could. When confronting am abuser, that’s when they start a more aggressive attack on you-eventually this leads to silence. They just disappear. They dump you...go dark, evaporate, whatever you want to call it. That’s when your nightmare begins…

*APA Reference

Peterson, T. (2015, August 11). Beware the Narcissistic Sociopath, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, February 18 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/sociopath/beware-the-narcissistic-sociopath

APA Reference

Tracy, N. (2015, August 5). Psychopath vs. Sociopath: What’s the Difference? , HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, February 18 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/psychopath/psychopath-vs-sociopath-what-s-the-difference