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I never got to say Goodbye.

by Dawn Earnshaw 2 months ago in depression

Leaving you made me cry.

With you close by I’m doused in madness..

When i try to prove others, focus on my life and change from accomplishing something for myself to achieve ,to convince others. With this change of focus, the final outcome is always unsatisfactory.

There are always some people who will doubt my abilities. It feels very challenging if these people are the ones you are surrounded with most of the time. It may make you question your own capabilities. You must remember that when you do something truthfully with all your heart, there is no reason to lose confidence. You just need to keep trusting yourself and keep going. As you go along and start achieving, it will add to your strength and soon you will find that the same people will start appreciating your success.

Never do anything to prove others. What you do should give satisfaction to yourself. If you have self-satisfaction, you won't need approval from anyone else.

How can your inner light help someone else to find their way out of the dark?

If you ever find someone full of knowledge and wisdom, they are the ones who have realised the power of their inner light. This self-awakening only happens when one is true, disciplined and has understood the meaning of life.

For most people, the path to finding this inner self is through the dark of life. When someone faces hopelessness but instead of seeing it as darkness, accept it as a part of life, they are only able to do so by igniting their inner light. Once this connection is made, they live with a higher level of consciousness. Such people share their knowledge and wisdom because they know there are many people out there who might be facing the same dark they once themselves faced in life.

If you find someone with a higher level of consciousness, you can recognise them by their selflessness, calmness and wisdom. Listen to what they say because what they say is divine intervention.

Advice from our Long Service Sargeant ;

Do you have long-term friends?

Long time friendship is always special. We develop such a good understanding that even if we are not together physically, the friendship continues. If you have long time friends, you would know how comfortable it feels to have a person who is non-judgmental and can understand you completely. A person who is like an open door; you can visit them anytime, call them whenever you feel like and rely on them whenever you need them. Having such a person in life gives a sense of security and comfort.

If you have such friends in life, let them know that they are special. Without friends, our life would have been very empty.

As this is what Homecoming meant to to me

I never got to say goodbye to Emily and all the other children and Ladies teaching me in a wartime territory.

We have all cried from our soul and guess what, “the Lord heard our shout”

Have faith Emily we will meet on Mount Zion and listen to Jesus in spirit and all nations all over, even in Galallea, will break bread, sing, dance and celebrate we even have a life, dancing and cheering next to me.

Don’t worry Emily if finding each other again is up to fate we will always no where we can wait at the pearly gates.

Sometimes you don’t need someone to give you answers just a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear.

Sometimes I hesitate to forgive them because we don’t feel very forgiving toward them. We might still feel a great deal of anger toward them. So we examine our emotional state and decide we are not in any condition to forgive. We buy into the error that forgiveness is a feeling.I realised that today Emil Firgiveness is a choice,not a feeling.

Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. I suppose it’s like choosing to cancel a debt owed to us. Yes, I might feel that someone owes us an apology, or that they should make up for what they have done to us. They owe us big time. But forgiveness is releasing them from that debt and giving up the right to be treated fairly by them. Making this choice to forgive may fly in the face of everything we are currently feeling. I forgive Emily that I had to come home without you.

One of the greatest struggles is being stuck - not knowing how to bring all my power and potential inside to the surface so that we can completely transform our results in quantum leap.

It was a moment of desperation. I was broke, sick, unhappy, and confused about who I was and what I wanted out of life. So much so that I knew something had to change, but I just didn’t know what or how.

As I landed in Miami, I didn’t think I could fall any further, but that is when I realized that I had gained it all when there is nothing more to lose...

The freedom to create a new model. As my old life fell away, I realized that everything that had been keeping me where I was was just an illusion, and as soon as I saw through it, real magic started to happen.

Contrary to popular belief, the hand is not quicker than the eye.

In fact, you can’t trust your eyes when your mind and perception are out of focus.

We don’t see with our eyes, we see with cells of recognition in our brain, and those cells create a framework of perception, often creating narratives and stories in the present based on what we have seen before. How often have you experienced searching for your car keys in the morning, then returning to where to started your search and seeing them right there on the sofa !

Sometimes you don't need someone to give you answers but someone to understand why you are questioning, sometimes you don't need someone to calm your fears but just someone to give you the right to be afraid for a while, sometimes you don't need a voice to correct your non sense but rather holds your hands while you are being a mess, sometimes you don't need someone to stop your tears but rather someone to hug you and cry with you, from time to time we all need someone to accept us, swallow our insecurities and weirdness, someone who allow us to heal with time while they are just by our side, but most of all you need someone to trust they will accept all of you, even when they don't understand

A person who never forgets his values, regardless of the hardship, never falls in life. Unfortunately, most people become arrogant and egoistic when they achieve success. They think that the whole world owes them. They mistreat other people and try to belittle them. These people often forget that no matter how high they fly, one day everyone will rest on the ground. Such people are always at loss because due to lack of self satisfaction, they neither stay happy nor enjoy their life here on earth.

Please Emily if you can write back as I cannot be away from home very long as social anxiety keeps me bonded - this is what Homecoming means to me.


Dawn Earnshaw

Enjoys writing short stories and poem- leaning grammar and punctuation in English.

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Dawn Earnshaw
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