I Live With No Regrets—Here’s How

Regret used to be my biggest fear. When I become a senior citizen, I do not want to think about what-ifs. Instead, I want to think about how I lived a life worth living.

Therefore, I created a system to mentally process and document life so that I can make the best decisions possible. Today, I will break down that system into its components.

Distinguish truths from myths.

I distinctly remember my fourth-grade teacher telling the class, “If you don’t go to college, you will be working minimum wage jobs for the rest of your life.”

As a child who unquestionably listened to teachers, I internalized this belief and took it with me as I progressed through my academic journey.

Today, I can safely say that the teacher was wrong. In 2022, college is simply one path (out of many) that you can take. The internet has revolutionized education and created valuable opportunities.

Success is not guaranteed even if you do go to college. Students now need to work harder than ever given the current environment of nearly $1.6 trillion in U.S. student loan debt and degree inflation.

As a human being, you need to recognize truths from myths.

Is something true because everyone says it’s true?

Are there exceptions?

Think for yourself and question what society tells you.

Develop a healthy level of skepticism.

Write your truths down. They will serve as your life guidebook when the sun rises every day.

Understand that you would’ve made the same decisions if you had the same knowledge.

“I wish I could go back in time and do things differently.”

I used to be so guilty of this kind of thinking, especially on restless nights where I would randomly start thinking about life.

Then, I realized that it’s not that simple. I now know things that I didn’t know before. I was at a different stage of my life back then.

If I time traveled into a younger version of myself (both physically and mentally), I would probably still make the same decisions given the past circumstances.

We cannot account for every future uncertainty.

Sometimes, we don’t even know what we don’t know.

We do not consider things that we are not aware of.

Make decisions with as much research and information as possible.

The defining moments in life involve making big decisions, two of which are choosing what college to go to and what career to pursue.

To make decisions that I will not regret, I consider the options in front of me and thoughtfully consider their pros and cons.

Let’s take picking a career for example.

Today, it’s easy to research since Google has made knowledge extremely accessible.

To consider whether I should become a software engineer,

I would Google search these three questions:

· Pros and cons of being a software engineer

· Day in the life of a software engineer

· What I wish I knew before becoming a software engineer

For each query, I would read each search result on the first two pages of Google. Doing so would give me a decent picture of what being a software engineer is like.

If possible, I would also try to talk to software engineers in real life. Watching YouTube videos created by software engineers would be a good alternative.

With all this information, I would finally make my decision of whether I should become a software engineer myself.

You can approach every life situation in this manner.

The risk of regret is mitigated when you navigate life thoughtfully and analytically.

Systematically finding the answers to good questions becomes a powerful tool when making important decisions.

Self-reflect every day.

I journal every day right before bedtime.

Initially, I used old-fashioned marble notebooks and ballpoint pens. Then, I realized that it was much more efficient to just keep an updated file on my computer. It’s just a password-protected word document. Today, I prefer maintaining a digital journal over a physical journal because, with digital, you can easily embed images and videos along with your thoughts. Plus, you don’t have to worry about the journal getting lost or destroyed since you can create backup files and upload everything onto the cloud.

I journal because I enjoy the self-discovery process that comes with writing down my thoughts.

The process almost feels like I’m talking to a close friend. It’s therapeutic and helps me cool down after a long day. This was especially important in college when random thoughts from class would race through my mind. Journaling helps me de-stress and transition to that relaxing state needed for deep, undisturbed sleep.

Learn from the past. Live the present. Look forward to the future.

By journaling, I accomplish all three of these things simultaneously. Daily habits make a huge difference in the long run since life is the summation of all days lived.

During the day, I live presently.

At night, I reflect on the day that is almost over.

I end every journal entry by making a list entitled “Things to Look Forward to.”

If I don’t have any plans for the weekend, I create some by messaging my friends.

Question the lifestyle that you want. Is that life a distorted version of reality?

My vision of professional success in college was this:

I would be answering phone calls in a suit and tie while looking out the window of a shiny skyscraper.

When I finally lived that lifestyle, I hated every minute of it.

Now, I would much rather live in the countryside somewhere and go to sleep as I listen to the trees rustling in the wind.

However, because I had that work experience, I was able to see if it was right for me.

Having many experiences is useful. This is why students pursue internships. Not only do internships look nice on resumes, but they also help confirm or question career choices.

Another way to see if something is right for you is by living vicariously through someone else. Read memoirs, biographies, and interviews. Watch YouTube videos that depict reality and not a glamorized version of reality.

Be action-oriented.

Life is hard. We all have unique challenges and issues. Regardless of the situation, it’s so easy to become pessimistic and drown ourselves in self-pity. Let yourself be emotional for a little while because it’s healthy. The ability to feel is a huge part of being human. At the same time, take steps to overcome the problem of the day. You will look back in satisfaction knowing that you did everything that you could.

Final Thoughts

Be conscious of how you spend your days because life operates on autopilot if you don’t. Time seems to slow down if we ask good questions and reflect. We can then, if needed, steer ourselves in the right direction.