Hungry for More – Eating to Fill the Void Inside

The other day we decided to go ahead with some home renovations and booked in a builder to refurbish our bathroom. As soon as we hung up the phone, I felt the need to reach for celebratory ice cream. After all, this was exciting, and we needed to honor the occasion with a treat. I realized that I didn't really need the ice cream, but I felt I just had to have it.

The same happens in stressful situations. My son had an anxiety attack at school? I feel sad for him and immediately reach for the chocolate to make myself feel better.

I recognized this habit a long time ago, but knowing about it doesn't seem to be enough to stop it. It made me wonder: why do we feel the need to eat all the time? What are we really fulfilling with food that our body doesn't even need at this point? It's certainly not a physical need but an emotional one.

Instant gratification

Many of us are familiar with the feeling that we're not enough. Maybe we think we're not pretty enough or successful enough. Maybe we feel like don't do enough to improve ourselves. It creates that empty sensation inside, and we want to fill that void with anything that gives us comfort or gratification.

One of the quickest and easiest ways to bring us a sense of happiness is through food and, while being a foodie is a fine hobby, eating for emotional fulfillment is unhealthy and often leads to health concerns. Obesity, high blood pressure, and heart disease are some of the conditions that can come from regular overeating.

What's more, Dr. Michele Neil-Sherwood from the Functional Medical Institute points out that although eating may feel good in the moment, the feelings that triggered the eating are still there afterward.

Interestingly, we don't usually reach for apples or carrots when we feel an emotional need to eat. According to a Harvard Health Publishing article, numerous studies have shown that stress increases the intake of food that is high in fat, sugar, or both.

This may be down to elevated cortisol levels, in combination with high insulin levels. Yet other research suggests that ghrelin, a 'hunger hormone', may also play a role in the process. Either way, it's pretty clear that we tend to stress-eat unhealthy foods.

Because food can stimulate the sections of our brains associated with being rewarded and create a sense of emotional security, it can create an addiction. So often when we hear of eating disorders we think of anorexia, but far more common and ignored are those who struggle with eating too much.

Food addiction is a serious problem and is generally met with little sympathy or understanding. People will treat those who struggle with this as lazy or as though they don't care about their own health.

What is not recognised is that those who suffer from food addiction are eating to fill the void inside. The lack of emotional comforts leads to a need and desire for that sense of fulfillment.

Why do we feel unfulfilled?

Sometimes this emptiness stems from an unpleasant or cold childhood. Missing love and support from guiding figures can make one feel insignificant. Experiencing emotional or physical abuse creates low self-esteem and a need to distract oneself from those lingering memories. Smell and taste are tied heavily to memories. This results in people eating to fill the void inside with familiar or comforting tastes.

Sometimes it comes from a tragic or traumatic event in a person's life. When someone has an experience like that, they will often turn to things that hide the pain of the incident. The connection between food and memories comes into play again as someone who suffered from trauma will turn to foods that make them feel comforted and safe, like nostalgic baked goods.

Sometimes it's from a current and ongoing situation, like a struggling relationship or an unsatisfactory job. Those who suffer from mental illness will often struggle with emotional eating as well as they try to improve their low moments. However, eating this way has been linked to worsening these conditions and will often increase overall stress.

But even without a traumatic event or childhood and a good upbringing, normal life achievements like getting on a school sports team or traveling with a friend only seem to fill that inner void for a moment. Soon after, that feeling of being flawed or empty inside often reappears.

Is comfort eating a substance addiction?

Just like an addict with their drug or an alcoholic with their drink, people can easily become addicted to certain foods or to the sensation of being 'full'. This feeling is associated with happy events, such as holidays or special celebrations, and offers a distraction if they're trying to avoid unpleasant emotions.

In some cases, this avoidance can go a step further if someone develops bulimia or the act of eating too much at one time that's followed by self-induced vomiting. This is done partly because of the feelings of shame that follow emotional eating and a desire to avoid gaining weight.

It also stems from a desire for control. When someone has suffered a trauma or experiences something they have no control over like mental disorders, they develop a need to control something. This need can lead to self-harm, like causing oneself to purge after overeating, or even overeating in itself.

How do you know if you're comfort eating or just hungry?

So many of us suffer from food addiction that it might be difficult to understand the difference. There are some signs you can use to know when you may be eating from stress rather than from hunger. If you suspect you may be eating to fill the void inside, you can learn how to tell the difference.

Wanting specific foods

If you have a strong desire for specific food and don't want anything else, this stems from emotional hunger. When your body is actually in need of food, the desire for what to eat is not as defined. While you might have some desire based on nutrients your body needs, if you find you want one particular food or texture then you want the taste and not the nutrients.

Eating without thinking

If you start to eat something and don't even think about what you're consuming or how much, this is another sign you may be emotionally eating. Mindlessly consuming an entire bag of chips is driven by the comfort of habit and not by the need for food.

Desire to eat is sudden

One of the biggest indicators that your hunger is driven by a void inside instead of a need for sustenance is if you suddenly become hungry. This is similar to how someone addicted to cigarettes will need to smoke immediately after a stressful incident. Something has triggered the feelings you're trying to avoid. Real hunger comes on slowly and over time. It's also regular, while emotional hunger comes with circumstances or memories that are brought up.

It leads to guilt

Food addiction will lead you to feel guilty for eating. It's tied closely to shame and lowered self-esteem. All addictions involve these feelings, and it creates a spiral that's hard to climb out of. You eat to escape terrible emotions and thoughts, but that eating creates more of those emotions and thoughts.

It won't satisfy

Because of this, while emotional eating may alleviate these unpleasant experiences for a few moments, it lacks any real satisfaction. You will only end up feeling the same or worse. Because it's not actually helping to heal that internal void, it won't stop these emotions from just coming up again and again.

You feel it in a different way

Hunger is physical and you will feel it in your stomach as a pang or grumbling. Emotional hunger is driven by feelings. It will show itself as a craving or desire for certain foods that you can't get out of your head. You will want tastes or textures instead of simply satisfying a physical need.

Final thoughts

It can seem hopeless when you suffer from food addiction, however, you can take the first steps to recover by simply recognizing the difference between real hunger and emotional hunger. Learning how to know which is which will allow you to recognize your triggers and work towards healing those emotional scars.

But I know from my own experience that that's easier said than done and takes a lot of effort. It may take the help of a mental health worker or making changes to prevent you from falling into the emotional eating spiral, but it is possible once you begin to recognize that you are worth the efforts it takes to be healthy and happy - without relying on food.

*** Originally published on Medium ***