How You Can Be So Right and So Wrong at the Same Time

I’m in the midst of a painful “ah-ha” moment. It’s one of those times when I’m forced to admit that I’m not always as nice as I should be. The good thing about this is that I can change. The bad thing is, I’m not sure I will, but I intend to try. Here’s what’s going on.

The play’s the thing

Last year when COVID hit, I was in the final weeks of rehearsal for a play. Acting is important to me because it’s something I do well, and it brings me joy and satisfaction. It’s also been the basis of my social life since I was 10 years old.

So, when the playhouse board of directors made the inevitable decision to cancel the performances, I was disappointed. Not only were my castmates and I not going to be able to enjoy the fruits of our labors, but we also broke the bond we had been forming. I am new to the area, and I hadn’t made any friends yet. It turned out that friends weren’t going to be a big part of anyone’s life for a while.

The resurrection and the life

Almost one year to the day, our director notified us that the play was back on. She had to recast about half the roles because some of our original castmates were either unable or unwilling to pick up the baton and make it to the finish line.

The loss of so many wonderful performers made the reboot bittersweet, but their replacements have turned out to be just as wonderful. We were assured of putting on the great show we’d been anticipating for so long. Our first rehearsal was a read-through via Zoom.

A new playing field

Unfortunately, the world had changed drastically since our cast and crew last assembled at the playhouse. In-person rehearsals have to be conducted with everyone wearing masks. Much hand-washing and social distancing are going on, too.

This is a play with a lot of people doing a lot of talking and not much action. Being unable to see everyone’s face is a problem. It makes it difficult to communicate with the audience and establish our characters and relationships among them.

When vaccinations became available to all of us, most of us were almost sure that by June, everyone would be fully protected when the show opened, and we could do the show sans masks. We were thrilled at the possibility, and everyone was urging everyone else to get their shots ASAP.

Reality bites

The playhouse’s board of directors met just before the White House, CDC, and our state’s governor lifted the mask mandate. They voted on the side of caution: both actors and audience would have to wear face coverings.

I was devasted. I argued along with some of my other castmates that the decision was made before all the facts were in, and we asked that the issue be revisited. Some board members came to a rehearsal to discuss it.

I had been assertive in pressing the issue that I didn’t believe it was necessary to wear masks. I’d assumed that none of the cast and crew members would want to wear them for the show. I also was sure that everyone would be vaccinated by then. I was wrong.

Assumptions are perilous things

As the saying goes, I made an ass of myself by assuming that everyone felt the way I did. Oh, but it gets worse. I stated that I had come to the first rehearsal fully vaccinated for my own safety and for that of everyone else—virtue signaling at its finest.

I even went so far as to add that I was surprised that not everyone was willing to extend the same consideration. This part I especially regret because there was a silent minority present who were either not comfortable going maskless or who had decided not to get vaccinated.

In saying what I did, I disparaged people for making choices they were fully entitled to make. I still think that everyone should have gotten vaccinated as soon as possible as most of us did, but I had no right to imply those who didn’t were morally deficient.

Where it stands now

After reviewing the various options for face coverings (none of which is great), we decided to wear clear plastic face shields. Would the show be better without them? Will they be distracting to the audience?

Probably, but those considerations have to take a backseat to other things like safety, the right to make personal health decisions, and whether or not the audience will perceive that the company is doing all we can to protect them from the virus.

I’m not happy about having to wear what resembles a welder’s mask onstage, but I’d rather do the show this way than not at all. It will be a challenge, but I will try to meet it with grace and an open mind and heart.