How to refuse emotional internal conflict

At 7 am, a little friend asked me if I could find her a psychiatrist, she said she was so devastated that she almost took 2 children out of the world with her.

I slept very late last night, the morning message sounded when in fact the whole person was more confused, but squinting eyes a see this message, sleep is all gone.

This little partner, before marriage, although not the princess of the family, but also not bad, people also look good and beautiful, do a good hand, very popular with everyone.

When the university loved a person who should not love, once graduated from the university, hurried to find someone to get married to casually.

People say she married very well, the other party's family is good, Mr. is a teacher, literate and courteous look let people look comfortable.

She didn't work after the marriage because she was pregnant.

After the children grew up, they moved from the town to live in the county, at which point she started going to work at a school.

Occasionally I would see her post videos of her children reading, but there was almost no sign of her or her husband or the whole family in her circle of friends.

She does not say, I never ask, but occasionally talks about reading, there is a paragraph she said that reading gives her strength, and also said that writing let her find herself, I am quite happy for her.

I'm not in a particularly good state from July to August, plus I don't like to actively seek out people to talk to, so I didn't have contact with her.

Today, when I saw her message, I was surprised on the one hand, on the other hand, I felt powerless, because of other people's difficulties, even if I empathize with them, how can I?

I told her to come out for a walk, perhaps the air outside will temporarily purify her thoughts of the accumulated garbage.

She said there was no place to go.

I said how about talking to a friend, she said friends are busy, and no one cares about anyone.

I said then read a book and write, write a non-public diary, sort out your emotions, maybe that's the way to go.

She said she had tried, but she had failed. Now, she would yell at her children, and then feel guilty after yelling, and when she felt guilty, she would cry when she felt pain, and so on.

I suggested that she take the child back home to her parents to help with her for a while, and now it's also the holidays and she needs to untie herself.

I also gave her her highlights of her, such as she is a good mother and a very responsible and liked person at work so that she is shining and deserves better.

I don't know how much she listens, but generally, these times, what others say, even if it's heartfelt, is mostly just nonsense, because the pain doesn't connect.

She reminds me of a quote from "The Medicine Tree": in fact, anyone is sick, but anyone is their psychiatrist, and very often, in fact, only they do their own medicine.

At this point, I know that this little friend can not feel at the moment, she feels that she only has a disease, no medicine, may time allow her to find the medicine, and may the years allow her to grow into a strain of medicine that she needs.

In this process, some people will get well quickly, some people will be very slow, and the long period will determine how long a person's internal consumption, may this little friend can understand that the most unworthy of their wasted things is to spend on internal consumption.

I told her that everyone has internal conflict, but please let the process go by faster, because internal conflict will make you fall deeper into internal conflict, can not find the cause of internal conflict, will always be rolled in it can not get out.

I want her to look into the future and at least paint a picture of her life apart from her family and children, that space, and hopefully, she will be able to breathe freely.

I made an appointment with her to meet her next week when I go back for wine. I know I am not a doctor, and if her condition is serious and she needs one, I hope we can figure it out together.

In the afternoon after dinner, it was still early, the sun had not yet set, and the trees were still illuminated in gold, I changed my clothes and went out for a walk, thinking to myself.

To live a splendid life, one needs a lot of heart power, and this heart power, other than oneself, cannot be given by others.

So, how to let yourself have heart power? Of course, I have to refuse to be emotionally consumed.

My heart method is.

First, write a gratitude journal, so that they will continue to dig around the good things, those bad things will also be filtered out in the process, and over time, the whole will become tolerant.

Second, let yourself do something you like, can be to see a movie, can a walk, can be their favorite crafts, can be climbing, and so on, as long as they like, once a week do, as a reward to themselves after a week of exhaustion.

Third, from time to time, friends to meet and chat, even if each other just spit, even if the other words can not become medicine, open up, must be much better than closing themselves in the emotional wall.

Fourth, watch more documentaries as well as good books, so that they continue to nourish their souls, when the soul's nutrition is sufficient, the body and mind will also be replenished.

Fifth, pull the attention back to themselves, even in the face of the closest people, do not have to cater to or bend over backward, and do not have to have to respond to anything.

Sixth, be sure to work and rest on time, late to bed will bring more late to bed, and late to get up will bring more depression, because you will feel that there is not enough time, a lot of thinking about things has been piling up there, these will only give yourself pressure.

A few days ago, I read "Dr. Hiroshima's Harvard study", the author said that everyone's time is a constant 24 hours, we often say save time is so much, it is impossible to save, we can only improve the value and density of the use of time.

This sentence, after I read it, I feel very healing, God is fair, it does not give anyone more than one minute and one second, the difference is only that some people take the same minutes and seconds to run, and some people use internal consumption.

I also walked a long way and fell down many times before I suddenly understood this truth.

Now I, too, will be internal consumption, but I'm glad that after the internal consumption almost, I can let myself escape.

But everyone has a different way to get through internal conflict. May we all get out of internal conflict sooner, because we have missed a lot of 24 hours.