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How I Survived (Part 3)

Trauma and blessings.

By Zeinab Published 3 years ago 3 min read
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Trauma. One event taking place, that can scar you for the rest of your life; only if you let it.

After moving in with Med, things only got worse. He would leave me alone all day long, lying about his whereabouts. He only ever came home to eat, change into clean clothes, and sleep. He cheated on me with several other women, and denied it every single time. Telling him I knew the truth was never enough. Showing him proof was never enough either. I was clearly going crazy, and seeing things. Right? Or so he made me think.

I would often think to myself... “Is this really my life? Is this it?” Not once did I believe it was what I deserved, but after being put down, and silenced for so long I had started to accept my fate.

I had been spending another lonely night all on my own, when Med said he wanted to speak to me. It was odd, because he never spoke to me. We didn’t do small talk. We didn’t ever chat, or laugh together. I was anxious before the conversation had even begun.

I sat with my head down, sitting anxiously at the edge of the couch, holding my hands in my lap. His words startled me, catching me completely off guard. “Did you cheat on me?” He asked. I replied with a simple “no.” But, that wasn’t enough for him. He asked again. I was so young and afraid I hadn’t known how to react to his accusations. I stuttered another terrified “no.”

That night, he laid his hands on me for the first time. I had my head down, so I never saw it coming, but I felt it. I felt it deep in my core. He beat me, and I couldn’t even fight back. I won’t go into detail, but what I would like to write about is what any man/woman in my position could’ve done. I believe abuse comes from both genders, and we are all vulnerable.

If you or anyone you know feels stuck in an abusive relationship, and is scared to leave, please read the following. I was a victim as well, but I am now a SURVIVOR! I made it, and so can you.

At the time, I had no family or friends to reach out to, so I had felt completely alone with no one who could defend me. If you’re the same, please do not hesitate to contact the police. If your phone was taken away by the abuser like mine was, try to get help from a neighbour, or anyone who could simply dial the police for you.

Never believe that an abuser will repent and treat you right. If you ever find the strength to leave an abuser, and you are safe, never return.

I was planning on leaving right after the incident, when something unexpected happened. I found out I had been pregnant.

I felt defeated. How could I possibly have this man’s child? How could I even live another day under the same roof as this sick person? I had so many questions, yet not one answer. I was young, afraid and alone. Little did I know that horrendous fear had turned into the biggest blessing God ever gave me.

I admit I was in denial throughout the entire pregnancy, but I still had some of the happiest moments talking to my belly, and reassuring my unborn baby that everything would be okay. I promised my child that we would be okay, and that I could live through anything for US.

I spent a long and tiring 9 months, but with hardship comes ease. Med hadn’t touched me throughout the pregnancy, and we tried to avoid each other as much as possible. I had become content with my life for the time being, and was only focused on bringing a healthy child into this world.

The day that I gave birth to my son, Med wasn’t anywhere to be seen, and was only present hours later. I didn’t care about him at all. My mind was too busy wondering what my next move would be. Would I be a single mother? Would he change for the sake of this newborn baby? Only God knew.

In part 4 of my story, I’ll be looking back on the day that changed the course of my life forever. The most traumatic experience of my life, and what made me leave, without looking back.

Thank you for reading and being a part of my healing. I appreciate anyone who is supporting me. It has been such a long journey, and I can finally see the finish line that I’ve been running towards for years! Thank you.

trauma
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About the Creator

Zeinab

I’m aspiring to be an awesome journalist. I hope you enjoy my writing.

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