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Mental Illness in TCK's

By Madeline KeysPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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A TCK, or third culture kid is described as a child who spent a big portion of their developmental years in a culture other than their parents' culture. While there are many benefits of growing and learning in another culture, there are some unique challenges. A common theme in the life of TCKs is the feeling of being out of place and not knowing which country to call home. Many times a TCKs life is celebrated as privileged and very real mental health issues are not addressed or not taken seriously.

Most people don't realize that moving cross-culturally can be a traumatic event in a child's life. Moving in general is already difficult from one house to another and that's in the same country! Any transition involves loss and loss needs to be grieved in a healthy way. It is not uncommon for a child who has moved to another country to have to go through the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (according to the Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle).

Learning to live in another culture takes a toll of stress on the human body, adults and children alike. However the problem that children have is they have a higher pressure and are expected to adapt quicker simply because they are young and their brains are more impressionable. Studies have shown that is true. Yet, in order to grow in a healthy mindset a child has to deal with the main issue of moving cross-culturally, and that is grief. Grief for a TCK may come from but not be limited to: loss of stability, friendships, comfort of home, speaking in their mother tongue, safety, and even identity. What may seem like resilience after a big transition, may very well be unresolved grief. Each move a TCK then deals with will have the cycle of grief again and any left unresolved or suppressed grief will undoubtedly result in emotions later bubbling to the surface. This emotional explosion could come up months or even years after the event depending on the person and future life experiences. Depression, anxiety, anger issues and irritability, fear of losing someone, detachment suicidal thoughts, and addiction are some ways in which unresolved grief may show up later.

Each TCK is different and has to deal with their grief from transition differently but the very best way to help a TCK is to sit and listen. Avoid questions like, "where are you from?" and stereotyping the country they lived in. Instead ask, "where have you lived?" and invite them to share their experiences. TCKs have lots of stories to tell and it can bring so much joy to talk about the country they lived in and hold dear in their heart.

These issues are very close to my heart because I am now an adult TCK. My family moved overseas when I was 13 years old. Spending my childhood years in the United States and then my teenage years in Serbia has given me a unique perspective on life, the meaning of home, and belonging. I am grateful to have two countries and cultures as a part of who I am yet it has not gone without difficulties. To leave my friends and comfort of my home in America at 13 and move to a completely foreign land and then finally adapt, only to return to the place I thought I would belong and it feel foreign...is a feeling I can't forget. I have personally dealt with mental health issues as the result of suppressing my transitional grief in the form of additive behaviors and depression. I hope this sheds light on the mental health issues TCKs struggle with and is a reminder that we do not know the deep battles people are facing but to always be loving and a listening ear.

I appreciate you taking time to read this. If you liked what you read please take a moment to like and share with friends and family. Also be sure to check out my profile to see more topics I've written on and if you're feeling generous my tips are always open. Thank you!

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About the Creator

Madeline Keys

I'm just a writer trying to find her voice. I'm passionate about writing things I'm learning about and things I've experienced.

I hope you enjoy exploring my page!

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