Highlight Reels vs. Behind the Scenes

I can’t stand people who excessively post on social media. These people always have a Snapchat story up, frequently posting a shot on Instagram and are always on their phones. My cousin is the perfect example. If you looked at my cousin’s social media profiles, you would think her life is the best ever. There’s always pictures of her and her friend’s parties, artsy photos of her food, and perfectly executed selfies. She always has the right pose, smile, outfit and gets loads of likes and people commenting on how beautiful she is and how they “want to be her.” Her life looks like a chapter out of a fairytale. However, social media doesn’t always show the whole story.

If you personally knew my cousin, you would know she’s very depressed. She is irritable and rude most of the time. She has a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. She’s insecure and constantly complaining about her weight. She parties excessively and has poor relationships with family members, particularly her mom. She’s always mindlessly scrolling through her phone, barely paying attention to anything around her. She lives a sad life. Though, the saddest part is that most of society is exactly like her.

People who are always on their phone, posting photos on Facebook and other social media platforms are usually the ones who are the unhappiest. This statement can be proven by the studies on the effects of social media. According to a study published online in Computers in Human Behavior, “the use of multiple social media platforms is more strongly associated with depression and anxiety among young adults than time spent online”. The reason why is because people think everyone is having so much more fun than they are, basing that perception on a persons’ social media profile. They look at people’s pictures and are envious of how much fun they look like they’re having. Then these people post a story on Snapchat or an Instagram that makes them look like they’re having so much fun, like “everyone else.” But these people aren’t truly having fun either. Why would you be on your phone if you were having fun? If you were having a good time, you wouldn’t even be thinking of whipping out your phone to post on your social media account. Living in the moment is the best thing you can do, and people seem to overlook that. It seems like everyone’s so worried about how they look on the internet, rather than what they actually feel like on the inside. They can’t enjoy their meal until they take the perfect shot of it, they can’t hang out with friends without taking an abundant number of pictures for Instagram. This causes high levels of anxiety and depression for these people because they’re so caught up in perfection and looking good on the outside, that they can’t enjoy life in the present. They ignore how they are truly feeling on the inside.

Social media only shows the “highlight reel,” never what is truly behind the scenes. You may look at a beautiful model on Instagram and think she has a perfect life. But in reality, she may be suffering from a problem, like an eating disorder, abuse, etc. She also may be situating her body a certain way to make it appear in the most flattering light. Society has to understand that no one’s life is perfect. Everyone is fighting their own battle “behind the scenes” or “carrying their own cross”—you just don’t see it.

One of the main reasons we use social media is for self-distraction and boredom relief. Social media is a way for people to feel less insecure and more “fulfilled.” They think that the amount of likes and comments determines your self-worth. If they don’t get enough likes, then they feel bad about themselves. Even when I’m scrolling through Instagram, I get a little depressed and envious. I’ll mindlessly scroll through pictures and Snapchat stories and wonder “Why can’t I be as pretty and skinny as her?” and “I wish I had a life like that.” Even though I know that social media is mostly fake, I still feel bad about myself. Social media is powerful and manipulative in that way. It can easily warp your perception and cloud your mind with negativity.

One thing that actually inspired me to change the way I see social media was a Netflix original called Black Mirror. Black Mirror is a science fiction show—a present day Twilight Zone—that analyzes modern society and the effect of technology. It uses dark and satirical themes to illustrate what our future could potentially look like with the advances and immersion of technology in our society. One Black Mirror episode in particular impacted the way I thought about social media. This episode was called “Nosedive” and it follows a young woman named Lacie, living in a future where every interaction with people is ranked by points. The higher rank you have, the more benefits you reap. For example, you can better housing opportunities, better jobs and friends depending on your ranking. And rankings are determined by “likes.” The lower your ranking the worse your life is or the worse your life appears to be. Lacie is infatuated with the idea of being at least a “four point” person. She is shown constantly putting on an act of excessive cheeriness and sucking up to higher ranking people in order to get points. She posts seemingly “perfect” pictures on social media to get “points,” or likes, and praise from the people around her. Lacie then gets invited to be a maid of honor at her childhood best friend, Naomi’s, wedding, who happens to have a very high ranking. Lacie looks as this as an opportunity to make a speech at the wedding in front of highly-ranked people, which they would like and then bump her rank up significantly. She is determined to be superficial and fake to get to the top in order to get what she desires. However, Lacie’s obsessive ambition and desperation for a higher ranking goes awry as a series of obstacles causes her to be late for the wedding and miss her big speech. She basically becomes unhinged and gives a very real and hurtful speech. (Naomi actually used to bully her as a child). In the end she receives very low points from all the guests and her ranking takes a nosedive, hence the name of the story. As it turns out, her high-ranking childhood best friend, really wasn’t her best friend or a friend at all. Naomi only asked her to be maid of honor in a ploy to get increased likes for “reaching down and bringing someone else up.” I’ve watched this episode several times and it always intrigues me. I’ve never really seen a show that shows the actual effects of technology on society. Not a lot of television or movies really dig into topics that negatively affect our generation. And sure, the show may be satirical and an extreme interpretation of technology in our future society but it makes you realize how social media has changed our world.

The best way to approach it is in moderation. Don’t excessively go on your phone and check your social media accounts. Have a set time in your day to check your accounts and hide your phone when you’re working, so you won’t be tempted. Live in the moment and don’t feel the need to take pictures and update the world of everything you do. Social media doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. It’s all up to you to find balance.