Handling Dysfunctional Family Members During the Holidays Without Losing Your Shit

Well, the holidays are here. Time to decorate, eat, drink and be merry.

Unless you're living in a toxic soup of a family. Then the holidays can be not so merry. Even if they're not being malicious, it's still hard to hear people spout negative comments, ask inappropriate things, and behave badly in general.

Just one negative, bad vibes comment from a family member can ruin the party.

Behavior Cues To Watch For

Whether it's the uncle who drinks too much, the cousin who is obsessed with sharing all the latest political conspiracy theories, or the aunt who wants to know when your emotionally unavailable little ass is ever going to get married ~ it only takes one comment from a mannerless family member to put a damper on what should be a pleasant and joyous time.

Thinking about being in the same room with rude, unkind, ill behaved relatives can send those of us with nerves of kryptonite reeling and grabbing the CBD oil for anxiety relief.

Dealing With Inappropriate Behavior

So how do you handle dysfunctional family members at the holidays without losing your shit?

Here are 9 ideas for dealing with difficult relatives at the holidays without sacrificing your mental health:

1). Keep a positive, and yet realistic outlook. The negative behaviors that people display at the holidays may not change much from year to year, however you don't have to internalize it.

2). If someone is rude to you, don't be rude back. Remember, the rude behavior of another person is their issue, not yours. It reflects poorly on them, not you.

3). Try to keep things light and positive. Keep it in context. Some people are just unhappy people and attempt to drag others into uncomfortable situations, discussions, and arguments.

Not responding at all and chatting with someone else, or excusing yourself from the conversation can often be effective.

4). Don't take it personally, Remember, everyone brings their own shit to the table, even to family get togethers (unfortunately).

5). Ignore negative comments and change the subject. This can be easier said than done. However, don't take the person's comment to heart, and don't fight with them.

6). Don't overindulge in alcohol. The family holiday get together is not the place to pound away on a case of beer. You can easily lose your inhibitions and say something you'll later regret.

7). Take a walk, get some fresh air, and just breathe.

8). Embrace a sense of gratitude at the holidays and beyond.

When negativity enters my life, I try my best to focus on everything I'm grateful for. By doing this, the other person's negativity really holds no power over me.

9). Consider leaving the get together early if things get really uncomfortable.

Sometimes the best way to love family members and keep your sanity is to love them from a distance. Don't feel bad about doing what's right for you and leaving an event earlier than planned.

Remember, ultimately the only thing you can control is your reaction to the behavior of others. So make sure your reactions are polite, diplomatic and that you don't say something you later end up regretting.

Although it takes time and a little effort to think about how you'll handle the holidays with challenging family members, it makes managing these situations easier when you have a plan for dealing with it.

By coming up with a plan to manage difficult family members at the holidays you're practicing good self-care.

Happy holidays to all, and to all a goodnight.