Getting sober at 19

Imagine this... It’s Friday. You’re wrapping up a long work week. Plans are circulating around your office that begin once the clock is punched. You agree to go out with a couple of your close co-workers to your favorite place to grab a quick drink to toast the weeks end before going home. After you do so and unwind a bit, you make it home and go on about your normal evening routine. Sounds pretty standard right? Well, you’re probably not an alcoholic then. I am however, and learned so at a very young age.

I don’t think anyone ever asks to have a problem with alcohol and substance abuse... I sure didn’t at least. What I did ask for was to be one of the “cool kids” and to be able to fit in when I was younger because who doesn’t? From the first time I got drunk at 13 to the time I had my last blackout at 18 I didnt’t realize I wasn’t being anything that made me any kind of idol or that any of it was problematic. Weekend parties in friend’s back yards with a few beers we managed to steal from parents or older siblings slowly turned into drinking daily. Copious amounts of drugs crept into the picture and intertwined until I became nothing more than a conduit fueled and influenced by drugs and alcohol.

Skipping the war stories and horror scenes, I hit my rock bottom in the summer of 2012. Things had gone from bad to worse, to whatever is worse than that. It was at that point when reality hit. I wasn’t having fun. I wasn’t doing it to unwind or relax. Drinking and drugging to excess drove away all my relationships so it wasn’t to benefit that either. I had realized that I had an issue at an age when most people are counting down the 2 years they had left until they were allowed to go out and grab a drink after work legally. I spent my days in therapy. Nights and weekends surrounded by much older people who seemed to only drink coffee and a lot of it... but no alcohol.

Getting sober is difficult for anyone in any situation. Staying home or meeting up with groups of other people trying to stay sober in your free time while others your age are out “having fun” also doesn’t seem ideal, but it is possible. I switched up my immediate network of friends, kept going to these meetings, found things I enjoyed doing sober and tried to just be a better person overall. I didn’t imagine having to do it for the rest of forever, just daily every day. At the time of writing this, even though it hasn’t always been easy, doing it daily has worked for 3,119 days. At 27 I have been sober for almost 8 and a half years!

Recovery from substance abuse disorders IS possible no matter what and I love being able to personally attest to that. During my time on the warpath, I gave away everything I had of value from monetary things to moral and sentimental ones. A life imagined during those times was fast, loud and every scenario included a party and the things to fuel it. Now I live a life beyond those wildest dreams. I have things of value. I have my family back in my life. I have friends that respect my choices and understand that I don’t need to drink to go out or be social or have fun with them and are PROUD of me for knowing that! I live the cliche “American Dream”. I work the blue collar 9-5 and go home to the wife and dog in the modest size house with the 2 car garage and modest size yard. I might skip the white picket fence part but the children will more than likely be added sooner or later. Most importantly of all, I’m happy and more than accepting of the fact that I’m different and can’t go out and have that one drink Friday night with the company bandwagon and go about my normal life after like I described earlier.

So the next time you’re out grabbing a casual drink or celebrating with friends, if you’re one of the ones who can go another day or week or month without drinking another drop then cheers to you! If not and you’re like me, there is hope so cheers to you as well (just with something non-alcoholic)! No matter what your vice is or how dark things seem there is always a light at the end of the tunnel! If someone like me can do it then anyone can!