FOUR BAD GOOD THINGS!

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FOUR BAD GOOD THINGS!

TO BE THANKFUL FOR!

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1

I am thankful for a brutal genetic father.

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Not Mr Lombardi (one of the best men in the world, who I call Dad!)

But my Genetic Father!

One of my earliest memories is of him hitting my mother.

I have had rage problems all my life due to those memories.

I met him later when I was a teenager,

And his behaviour confirmed everything I had suspected about him but had wished not to be true!

Including his hateful racism!

When certain type tries and berates me as a so-called Beta Male

Instead of an insult, I see it as a compliment!

HELL!

I would rather be a “Delta” or an “Omega” if such a thing exists than be anything like HIM!

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WHY?

Because of that, I have crusaded both outside and within against Toxic Masculinity all my life.

I have taught both my children, one male, and one female to ignore all the Macho bullshit in the world.

And just be themselves a dam hard as they can!

I know my rage problems will NEVER make me a risk to my family because of those memories!

Because of those memories, I walked away from situation number 3 below!

It taught me the power of peace over a path of violence.

I may never be able to walk that path,

I may never be strong enough,

But I will try and make sure my kids can!

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2

I am thankful for school bullying.

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I went to a boarding school.

There was no escaping home for me.

The bullies could visit you in the middle of the night to get you!

I still wake up enraged in the middle of the night!

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Why

Because now I am the sort of person who will always try and help the underdogs of the world.

I will always try and help those that need it.

To this day I still offer free writing of artwork for registered charities.

WHICH THEN LEAD TO…

An emotionally abusive relationship.

(See number 3 below!)

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3

I am thankful for an emotionally abusive relationship

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I am thankful for my breakup with my first serious girlfriend

She had had a horrendous private past.

As a type of much lesser victim myself, I wanted to “Save” and “Protect” her!

Her human tragedy made me take levels of emotional attack that I would never have normally accepted from anyone.

Over time…

She emotionally destroyed me.

She used mentally abusive tactics to dismantle my confidence and take away who I was.

Looking back, I think she wanted to me to be the sort of man that would hit her,

The first time I felt my fist curling at her words was the last.

(See number 1 above!)

I was never going to be that sort of arse hole.

EVER!

I uncurled my fist and broke up with her immediately there and then!

I am thankful for my breakup with that first serious girlfriend.

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WHY?

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Without that, I would not have truly valued the inherent kindness of my wife when I met her.

She, My wife, would have been just another notch broken-hearted on the bedpost instead of becoming the love of my life!

My children would never have been born!

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4

I am thankful for my terrible mental illness

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My parents were VERY middle-class aspirational types.

The type who loved throwing elaborate dinner parties to impress and entertain.

Their children getting a degree and a high-powered job seemed to mean everything to them.

So, I wanted 80s yuppy style success.

I wanted the ruthless corporate ladder.

I snapped!

I broke!

Becoming suicidal and self-harming.

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WHY?

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Because I learned a better set of values.

I had to swap an obsession with success for being a better less materialistic person.

Instead of being becoming obsessed with climbing the career ladder,

Whose family are just part of the “needed life set” to show they are stable enough to be promoted!

A scenario I had seen far too often in the eyes of some kids at my old boarding school.

I have cherished and valued trying to be a good, dedicated family man.

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The Lesson?

In the end…

The Things You Should Be Thankful For,

Are NOT always Obvious!

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