Fire Ants Burn

It occurred to me this morning that danger comes in small packages. Has anyone questioned why an infestation of bedbugs or fire ants can be incredibly damaging? Now, I'm not an expert. But in my youth, adults told me fire ants are a threat to both humans and animals. They can cause health problems and in rare cases, death by reactions. All it took was my friend not wearing shoes that day to step on a mound of fire ants, my brother running his toy mower through a hornet's nest in the ground to get severely stung.

A friend told me years back. "Depression doesn't kill everyone!"

I replied, "Neither do bee stings."

It is intriguing yet terrifying that two people can be stung by a bee, and one can have a severe allergic reaction where the other would shrug. It hurts, but a little attention does the trick.

That's like saying, "Allergies don't kill everyone. So why study so intensely into treatment? Maybe if you just thought more positively and weren't so fearful of tree nuts, then you wouldn't need to carry an EpiPen around. Avoidance isn't an issue of the bodies reaction to it, it is an issue of what's going on in your head."

Truth be told, fire ants burn.

Allergic reactions are scary to watch.

Yet, we so easily accept people's advice as truth when it is not backed up. Depression can be a direct diagnoses, or a symptom of a more complex issue. Doctors and science can only catch a glimpse into the complexities of the brain, but just because you can't see the brain; it doesn't prove it's nonexistence. It's there. Just as you can't FEEL the person's pain; it doesn't mean it's invented.

So what is said about depression? What do we imagine?

Thanks to the world of social media, we're taught to frown upon the "misery suckers". We see a hopeless sap who takes his or her pain out on everyone else. They bawl into tears until snot is running down their nose. They wait until an audience of hecklers is cheering them on as they tempt the highest ledge. Or it's glorified and a depressed individual is discouraged from reaching out or getting the treatment or resources necessary. They're encouraged to turn their pain into self-expression.

Trust me, a little venting goes a long way and so does writing to get a weight off your chest. But the more you indulge, gravity intensifies. The more you write it off and keep it hidden, the more those fire ants and roaches will nestle into their home, which is your mind.

I wasn't diagnosed with depression upfront, although it may have trickled in during 2nd grade for me.

I want to shut down two myths about depression.

- Depression is only diagnosed when you are a self-harmer or have a suicide plan.

Why? NEVER underestimate the damaging effects short-term insomnia or changes in eating behavior can have on someone. Sleep and food are two essential things the body needs to function. If you take away that consistency, then feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness can be an adverse affect on a person's mental and emotional state.

- Depression only happens to teenagers or young adults struggling financially.

Why? Yes, a majority in these groups struggle. Although we cannot forget children, parents, and the elderly.

I wasn't officially diagnosed with depression until I was around 15. My therapist and primary doctor suspected my depression may have been rooted back to when I was around 7. I was a little kid and based on my behaviors, I always felt like there was something wrong with me for not having the same carefree, happy-go-lucky feelings my peers around me felt. They could just run and jump around at the playground, for no reason whatsoever, but to wiggle their little toes. They laughed, just because it was fun to do!

I overthought everything. I had a difficult time sleeping at night. Food had a different taste, and not in a good way.

Our depression may be linked to circumstances or mere chemical imbalances in the brain. It may even be a mixture of both. If somebody had something off balance in their brain and it could be relieved through medication, than what is the issue?

Is it because you can't see the brain's struggle? You can't feel the individual's pain?

If somebody had sprained their ankle and needed medications and rest, would you not approve? Doctors can assess any physical and mental pain, and as long as you aren't the patient. We are unable to see the broken bones or broken minds out there. We can't feel the pain, but we can see it if we look closely enough.

All I learned, is that a lot of damage can be caused by little things.... and if you don't take the time to properly assess what those little things are inflicting now. You will be forced to process a lot more little things and the damage they cause. It felt like a ton of little fire ants were running around in my brain biting me, and it hurt. It burned. The burning sensation came from this sense of dread in my chest that I somehow wasn't trying hard enough. That it was my fault I wasn't motivated enough. Perhaps I was holding back on the treatments that could bring me happiness, instead I was refusing it.

Another thought to consider is, reaching out to those who are more qualified. If I had a roach infestation in my current place, I'd call for someone qualified to get rid of these pests. Likewise to these pesty thoughts, there is no shame in calling for someone more qualified to get rid of the mental roaches.

I have depression. I knew a friend who drifted from my life who had severe depression. Unfortunately, I also knew a friend who committed suicide when I was an early high school graduate.

I have felt and seen that pain.

If keeping something hidden is in the expense of someone's safety, then it is not worth it.

I'll end this on an insightful note that I found handy in acknowledging my own limitations. Fire ants are definitely a universal problem, everybody suffers if their bare toes step on a red ant mound. This may be associated with more universal issues like waves of general depression or anxiety. Yes, everyone will have a ''bad day'', or be nervous when they are about to present to all of their classmates. Not EVERYONE is allergic to bees or tree nuts. These are the more uncommon or diverse situations that can surface. These ''allergic reactions'' may be associated with chronic depression, panic attacks or anything in the realm of more severe anxiety, PTSD, complex PTSD, BPD. Etc.

Just because a "quick fix" might solve a general population's mental or physical impairments.

Your friend or loved one's limp may not always just ''go away'' And depression isn't some raincloud you can ''get over''. If a rainstorm was any one problem I could escape from, then I'd hop in a car and drive away petrified as soon as a drop of rain landed on my skin.

Yeah, everyone has a little rain in their lives and if you live through it you'll be lucky enough to catch the rainbow and sun that bursts through at the end. However, using temporary feel good quotes won't ever bring back my friend who finally succeeded in her attempt, because everyone thought that repeating the same lie louder and louder would solve all her issues, instead of supporting her through what I consider shameless, needed treatment.

Depression doesn't "kill" everyone.

I never heard of a poor sap getting killed by a mob of fire ants, but the damage is irreversible and... maybe some do.