Finding Hope

Arthur was lonely. Not that this was anything new for him, but this time the loneliness seemed to be setting in and pulling him into a darker place than he was used to. Months of therapy had helped with coping strategies, but days like today made Arthur feel particularly down. Arthur slumped into the soft fabric of his favourite chair and let out a sigh. Looking around, he could see the backlog of chores climbing up around him. Dirty dishes sat cluttered on the side of grungy sink; clothes were scattered haphazardly over the floor where they had been left sitting for the better part of a week; dust layered the bookshelves; and a slight malodour permeated throughout most of the house. Arthur shook his head slightly, noting that he had been neglecting more and more of the daily tasks as time progressed.

After some time, Arthur begrudgingly rose from the comfort of his chair with ambition to tidy his small, one-bedroom apartment, knowing that the mindless tasks may help him beat the dreary mood that kept pushing him down. Sauntering over to the sink, Arthur looked at the putrid filth that was clogging up the drain. As he turned on the tap, a small drizzle of water began to flow into the sink. As the running water started to splash onto the food scraps and other filth that layered the basin, flies that had been happily feasting on whatever they could find in the sink rapidly dispersed, leaving Arthur to stare down at the little white maggots that appeared to be aimlessly wriggling around. Arthur felt a tinge of guilt as he stared at the maggots, watching them slowly slide through the gaps in the drain covering before being swept away by the water that was beginning to fill up the sink. Once the remaining maggots had been washed away, Arthur started mindlessly scraped the remaining food scraps out of the sink and placed them delicately on the overflowing bin before returning to clean the clutter of dishes over the bench.

Once the dishes were completed, Arthur poured himself a glass of water and made his way back to the comfort of his chair. Placing the glass of water delicately on the side table, Arthur let his eyes wander to the photograph of his younger self standing next to a beautiful young woman on the happiest day of their lives. Gently, Arthur picked the photo up, longingly staring at it as memories of their wedding day were brought to the forefront of his mind. As the memories flooded his thoughts, his emotions became conflicted with the positive memories of the day, and bitter sadness he felt knowing that his wife was no longer in this life with him. Delicately, Arthur returned the photograph to the table and resigned deep into to his chair.

As time ticked by, Arthur began to think about how different his life would have been if his wife were still with him. His mind wandered endlessly over questions that he knew he would never have the chance to get an answer for. Arthur was unaware of how much time had passed in the day and was only brought back into the present moment by a hint of movement outside the window. Shifting his attention to the disturbance, Arthur watched as a couple emerged from a house across the road with a small dog eagerly trying to lead the way on their daily walk. As they strolled down the cracked pathway that ran along the side of a slightly neglected road, Arthur’s attention remained on the couple until they rounded the corner and vanished out of sight, leaving Arthur alone with his thoughts once again.

Arthur had begun drifting off before being abruptly awakened by a loud bang that managed to echo throughout the entire house. Another two loud bangs went off rapidly after the first, unperturbed, Arthur assumed that the commotion was likely due to one of the many outdated cars in the area that had seen better days. After a brief moment of silence, a cacophony of barking enveloped the neighbourhood before slowly beginning to quieten after a couple of minutes. Arthur found peace in the moment of silence, only to have it stolen away seconds later as the sounds of sirens approaching caused the dogs to voice their concerns once again. Paying no heed to the noise, Arthur began the process of controlling his breathing and thoughts, allowing each thought, positive or negative, to flow through his mind, paying not particular attention to any one given thought. As the minutes ticked by, the sound of the siren grew ever louder and demanding, breaking Arthur’s concentration. With a huff, Arthur stood up from his chair and sauntered into his bedroom where he kept his shoes.

After pulling on his shoes, Arthur left the house for the first time in days and began to wander down the road in the general direction of all the commotion. Although he was partially fuelled curiosity about what was happening down the end of the street, the rest of him knew he would at least be able to tell his therapist that he went for a walk at least once during the week. As he rounded the corner, the flashing lights of the police car caught his attention. Slowing down to almost a complete stop, Arthur’s eyes opened wide at the sight that he beheld. From where he stood, he could make out a person laying on the sidewalk, with a young man loudly sobbing as he was being ushered by a police officer in attempt to provide a statement. By this point, Arthur had come to a complete standstill as the details of what he saw began processing.

A police officer stood to one side, creating a perimeter to ensure that the growing crowd of onlookers couldn’t get too close. Another officer stood nearby, holding a small black notebook in which he swiftly scrawled notes as he asked questions to a to a young lady who had presumably witnessed the incident. The longer Arthur stood there, the more his brain began to comprehend and process what his eyes were seeing. As Arthur drew nearer to the police officers, he got a better look at the body that lay on the sidewalk, not yet covered from view. The body was that of a young man, and as Arthur processed some more, he realised that this was the young couple that had been walking their dog down the street not long before. As he stared, Arthur’s hand began to tremble. Turning around, Arthur began to slowly walk back home. As he made his way down the street, Arthur began to realise that the loud noises he had heard earlier must have belonged to gunshots that ultimately led to the scene he had witnessed.

As Arthur began to approach his house, he heard the yapping of a small dog across the road. Arthur turned, and saw the little dog that belonged to the young couple. Arthur placed his house keys back in his pocket and headed over to the little dog. Unsure of his presence at first, the dog tried to produce what would have been a ferocious growl in a larger dog but resulted in a noise that caused Arthur to chuckle. Cautiously, Arthur reached out to the dog, who had become curious enough to approach Arthurs extended arm before allowing Arthur to give him a few cautious pats. As the dog’s confidence with Arthur grew, Arthur took a chance to pick the dog up and see how it would react. As he picked it up and tried getting the dog into a comfortable position, it reached up and gave Arthur a big lick on his cheek. Taking this as a good enough sign of trust, Arthur returned to his home with the dog snugly laying in his arms.

Once the dog had been given some water, Arthur took a seat and stared out the window, waiting to see if the young man from across the road would return home today. After many hours had passed, Arthur cleaned up a few accident’s that the little dog had left around the house before cooking up some chicken breast that he had planned on eating for dinner and feeding it to the dog. By now, the sun had sunk far below the horizon and a full moon lit the street well enough for Arthur to get a decent view of the comings and goings in the street. Arthur heard a vehicle pulling up outside and looked out the window, as he watched he noticed a police car pull away from the sidewalk. As the car drove away, Arthur watched as a young man went inside, closing the door behind him.

Arthur began to walk across the street with the little dog in tow, watching as the lights inside began to flicker on, giving the house a sense of life. Approaching the front door caused excitement for the little dog, and as Arthur began knocking, the dog started barking excitedly. The young man who opened the door looked exhausted, with dark rings under his eyes and a blank expression plastered on his face. The young man looked at Arthur, before looking down and seeing the little dog by his side. A small smile grew on the mans face, thinking that he had lost the two closest things to him today had been hard, but seeing the little dog brought eyes to his tears. The young man looked up at Arthur, with a tear sliding out of the corner of his eye. Arthur smiled, and walked home, without exchanging a single word with the young gentleman.

The next few weeks progressed much more ordinarily for Arthur, with life returning to its regular rhythm. Arthur had begun speaking to the young man across the road, Henry, on a regular basis and found that they had more in common than just living in the same area. They would often spend time talking late into the evening, which Arthur found as a nice respite from the darker thoughts that he still struggled with. Today however, there were moving trucks out the front of Henry’s house, and moving boxes littered over the lawn. As Henry knocked on the door of Arthur’s house, Arthur forced himself smile, not wanting to sour the moment with his own sombre mood. Although they had talked about Henry moving away for a fresh start, Arthur was still struggling with the fact they would no longer have their evening chats. Arthur opened the door, not expecting Henry to pull him into a tight squeeze as soon as the door had opened wide enough. Henry handed Arthur an envelope as emotions began to overcome him. They exchanged a brief farewell, before Henry hopped into his car, pulling away as the removalist’s finished packing the last of the boxes into the remaining truck.

Arthur stood on his doorstep, staring into the street well after the moving trucks had rounded the corner and left his sight. Finally, he took the envelope that Henry had pressed into his hands. Arthur pulled out a card and read it, letting tears roll down his face as his emotions took hold.

Arthur,

While our friendship was forged from a moment I wish had never existed, I have found comfort in your company which I will never be able to repay. Without you, I am not sure that I would still be here today. Returning home that night to the vast emptiness of a house that I had shared with my closest friend and lover until that very day, was the loneliest I had ever felt. My sadness felt like it weighed more than a mountain, but in that moment, you appeared and wordlessly gave me a reason to live. Please accept this cheque as the smallest token of my appreciation, my husband would have wanted you to have it.

Love, Henry