Figuring out I was maladaptive daydreaming

Recently I discovered the condition known as Maladaptive Daydreaming, the condition causes intense daydreaming that distracts a person from their real life. Many times, real-life events trigger day dreams. These events can include:

• Topics of conversation
• Sensory stimuli such as noises or smells
• Physical experiences

From some of the symptoms I looked up, the ones I corresponded with an overwhelming desire to continue daydreaming and daydreaming for lengthy periods (many minutes to hours). There were about 9 symptoms so I made the assumption that my degree of the condition isn’t as severe.

I started Daydreaming when I was in year 8, that was when I started getting bullied. I began daydreaming because I wasn’t enjoying the reality I was currently living in. I started daydreaming when I would take the bus home and sleep a lot at night. Eventually my daydreaming became more extreme, I would start daydreaming while walking to the bus stop and then on the bus. By the time I got to year 11 I was daydreaming in some of my classes, to the point that I was so far in my daydreaming that people had to shake things in front of my face to get me out of that state. I was even able to daydream like that during a half marathon, it made the run so much easier because I was able to black out while running cause I was caught up in a daydream that I didn’t realise where I was running. Only until I game out of the daydream and noticed I was further along on the route.

As I started heading to university, my extreme daydreaming began to reduce. Mainly the reason was that it was affecting my close relationship with my best friend. It never felt that I was listening to her problems because I was so caught up in my head. I learnt to not be so stuck in my head and in my daydreams during my time at University. The fact I was meeting more people and doing new activities, I just didn’t have a lot of time to daydream. I would only do it as I’m heading to university and back home when I am by myself.

I’ve realised now that I do love day dreaming but it causes me to fantasise about people too quickly which causes me to get very clingy when I like someone. It also makes me overthink a lot which results in me becoming quite anxious about different things in my life. It’s a double edge sword.

The dependence on fantasy of reality I prefer from time to time. For example I am a person that gets really attached to people I like. By daydreaming the fantasy of having a boyfriend in your head instead of thinking about a real person. I never feel I have to worry about wasting my mind on a person that doesn’t want me. Sounds sad, I know. Do whatever it takes to cope. This is also my first type of addiction because I enjoyed it so much to the point I would daydream across roads, potentially risking my life. Lastly I forgot to mention that my maladaptive daydream would only activate when I’m listening to music, that’s how I also got addicted to listening to music. Both of them combined transitioned me to another world where anything can happen. I still to this day never leave the house without my headphones because music is life.

Sometimes I wish I still had the condition because running isn’t as fun as it used to be. At least I can cycle.