Fight Anxiety With Knowledge

It's not always obvious right away what exactly is making us anxious. There can be so many triggers out there. Just as we are individuals our anxieties are individual to us, but there is one thing we can do to overcome our fears and anxieties.

Years ago, I was going through one of the roughest times in my life, suffering severe depression and anxiety. Among these things, I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia (fear of going outside).

Over the phone, my doctor referred me to a therapist. The only problem was, to see this therapist I had to (you guessed it) go outside!

It took some hyping myself up but eventually, I called the office to make my first appointment. Two days before, I cancelled and rescheduled. Twice more I did this until I couldn't take it anymore.

After realising that I couldn't even walk two minutes to the local shop for a pint of milk, I realised enough was enough.

I sucked it up and called my mum. At the time I was 21 years old and just making that call made me feel ashamed but as both my parents are so supportive, they both offered to attend my first session with me.

So with a lift from my mum, I made it to the office. This was a feat in itself considering I hadn't been past my garden for almost 3 months.

I sat in the waiting room with my mum beside me and looked at the door every ten seconds, ready to run.

Just as I was about to get up and go, the therapist came out to call my name. She was a lovely woman, very friendly and polite, but as we walked through the corridors to her room, I felt like I was walking the line to death row. Inside that room, I'd have to open up and admit all my problems. It was hell.

Or so I thought.

The session began slowly at first but that lovely therapist was so patient and understanding and eventually, I told her my problems: depression, anxiety and all the things that I thought made me anxious.

She told me that to tackle the former we'd first have to hit the latter. I was terrified!

But instead of diving right in, she first explained to me how my brain, like most brains, worked.

She told me that although we're all very intelligent and centuries from our primitive ancestors, our brains still work much in the same way. Our instincts are fight or flight.

"Our instincts are the things that keep us alive," she told me, "Our anxieties are the tiger in the room that makes us run to stay alive."

Then she went on to tell me that, although we don't always know it's happening, our brains record and store every tiny, minuscule detail of what is happening both inside and around us. Our thoughts and feelings on certain situations are recorded so that if ever we are in that same situation again, we will know better how to handle it.

This, of course, can lead to problems down the line but it can also be our biggest weapon in overcoming our anxieties.

So Here Is The Solution

Just as our brains record all the negative experiences to protect us in the future, they also store the positive ones.

My therapist told me that to overcome my Agoraphobia I needed to expose myself to it rather than hiding from it.

At the time this thought absolutely terrified me. It's safe to say I cried my eyes out for a good five minutes in her office. It's a good job she had a pack of kleenex on hand because I was totally unprepared.

That day we set to work on a plan. Every day I was to go one step further. The first day I'd walk to the end of my garden. On the second, I'd take a few steps down the street. The third, to the end of the street, and so on. By the end of the week, she wanted me to go to the local shop and buy that pint of milk.

This also involved beginning to work my way around avoiding crossing the street whenever I saw someone walking towards me. You see, part of my problem was believing that every person on the street was a threat. I constantly thought someone was going to attack me.

So in the first few days, I concentrated on going just that little bit further. I still crossed the street whenever I saw someone coming, but I managed to get just outside the shop before having to turn back.

After the first week and a quick call to my therapist, I decided it was time to take the dive. My anxiety about going outside wasn't so bad. I could just about breathe. So I decided then and there I wouldn't cross the road when I saw someone coming.

It was heart-stopping but I walked with my head down, trying my hardest to tell myself it would be okay. And I did it! I walked right past a man walking his dog and didn't look back.

That day, a week after my first appointment, I managed to walk into the shop with my head held high and buy that pint of milk!

For the next week, I took charge and walked to the shop every single day. I didn't purchase anything but just stepping inside the shop, without avoiding people as I went, made a huge difference!

At my next appointment, just two weeks after the first, I was practically beaming at my therapist. And best of all? I'd managed to get to the office alone!

The Moral Of The Story

Facing your fears, as long as they aren't going to cause you physical harm, really does work wonders for your mental wellbeing!

Applying This To Other Anxieties

There's no problem that this can work for everything but I also began to try this method when it came to social anxiety and my fear of talking to others. Starting off slowly at first was the key and now, although I still suffer with anxiety, its bearable and I can live my life.

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