Embracing The Darkness

She met the darkness as a child and together they had grown. Darkness had filled the void that was left when innocence departed, its soul flying towards the place of healing where all shattered innocent souls go. She likes to believe that is a shining star in the sky waiting for another child to fill with daydreams, magical places and stories of fairies, princes and princesses, enchanted dreams of a world filled with endless possibilities. She hopes that the damage it received is not irreparable, that it is whole and as beautiful as she remembers. The darkness was uncomfortable and heavy when it had first arrived - both unsure of the other. Her body had not rejected it, surprising the darkness. It was tentative at first stretching slowly but as the years passed it touched parts of her and recoiled into itself as if scared of what it found. It waited in silence, until one day she had run to it instead of away from it. The darkness was surprised that she came to it for comfort, that she hid away inside pulling at the tendrils until she was wrapped in them as though the darkness was a blanket, the darkness was safety.

Darkness knew what was waiting behind her hazel eyes as it held her. It watched and as it watched it waited. It waited for it to be over. The darkness held her a little tighter and shielded her in the only way it could. The darkness knew that it was only a matter of time before another piece of her soul would take flight and it did not know if that piece would ever return. It knew that in its stead a cold heat would take its place and when rage poured into the cracks left by another piece of her that departed, darkness did not flinch. Darkness enveloped them both. When she awoke, she felt the difference, the shift inside and darkness danced knowing that if it were not careful, she would destroy herself when they were introduced. Rage simmered down and cooled her, so she became numb for years. It was its way of protection. She was not ready. The talons appeared and venom seeped from her lips, she had tapped into it unknowingly and now it was awake and ready to fell any foe but not having tamed this new beast she could no longer tell friend from foe, and no one escaped the burning remarks spoke, the violence her hands itched to do.

Surprised by herself she began to think herself a monster. More pieces of her soul fractured and fled as the years passed. Some of it was her own doing and others an aftermath of trauma. Rage had become her friend and darkness her protector. She had grown accustomed to the numbness caused by rage so when another numbness came to exist inside her she did not think anything of it. Rage and darkness had no choice but to welcome the invader. It settled quickly and quietly curling up inside her chest like a cat sleeping peacefully. When she made attempts on her life this new numbness- it stretched and curled back up. Rage and Darkness the only ones battling to get out, to get to her, to save her, darkness held her protectively and rage promised to make them pay. To make everyone pay. Darkness felt relieved when she was not consumed by it. Rage swore obscenities and burned like a raging fire ranting and pounding inside of her rattling her rib cage as though it could get a foothold and crawl out through her skin.