Eckhart Tolle is Triggering Me

Inspired by stories I'd read on Medium about Eckhart Tolle, I decided to read ‘The Power of Now’, one of his books that’s been languishing on my shelf for years. It contains some powerful ideas and some absolute nonsense.

I like this quote...

“80 to 90% of most people’s thinking is not only repetitive and useless, but because of its dysfunctional and negative nature, much of it is also harmful.”

I think he’s right.

But I’m not so keen on this one…

“All problems are illusions of the mind.”

I don’t agree with that. I think some problems are real and need dealing with. But I can also see how the right mindset or attitude could alleviate some problems or make them easier to resolve.

A memory I’d rather forget

The problem I’m experiencing as I read through his book, is that it’s triggered a memory I’d rather forget. Thinking about the experience is counter to his advice, but his advice is making me think about it! I obviously need to work on this!

It was the time when a woman commissioned me to do a lot of writing work for her website. She was a big believer in spiritual enlightenment and oneness with ‘source’ or something like that.

And as a consequence of mastering the approaches used by spiritual gurus like Eckhart Tolle, she didn’t feel negative emotions. She was enlightened! Chilled! So chilled in fact, that she didn’t seem to care about anything.

It started so well. She was totally delighted with what I’d done. She paid me right away for the first job. Then she gave me more work. I cracked on. I was being paid by the hour, not by the job, so it was intense. I felt I had to make every minute count so she got her money’s worth.

Anyway, the bottom line is, I worked really hard. It was unfamiliar subject matter and one of the hardest, most intense jobs I’ve ever done. I felt I’d earned every penny. I was exhausted by the end of each day. It took a lot out of me.

I sent her the second job completed. She was delighted and said how perfect it was! She asked me to invoice her, so she could pay me right away. Then she added that she had something else for me to do.

I suggested that I complete the third job and then invoice her for both at the same time. I wasn’t in a rush to be paid. I trusted her. That was fine. We were on the same page. I thought.

I completed the third job. Sent it in. No response.

I followed up a week later. No response.

I tried again. No response.

Eventually, two weeks later, I got a reply. She’d changed her mind. She wouldn’t be using what I’d created.

And because she was enlightened, living in some hippy spiritual land of no conscience, she didn’t think paying me was appropriate.

I was upset. She started to argue that the work she’d been so excited about, no longer met the brief. I’d done it wrong. This was the opposite of what she’d told me previously.

I kicked myself for not invoicing her for the second piece right away, because she was happy in that moment and willing to pay.

I console myself with the fact that I got paid for one piece.

This lady prided herself on being difficult to work with and prided herself for having already got through seven writers when she met me. It started off so well, I thought I’d succeeded where others had failed. Apparently not.

I wanted to try and fix it. Make things better, but there didn’t seem to be a way forward. She said that if I’d agree to a 2 hour video call with her, she’d pay me for the work, but then she didn’t turn up and ignored my attempts to contact her again.

I had to give up.

Because she’s enlightened, she didn’t feel negativity, she thought changing her mind was acceptable, and she didn’t care.

According to Eckhart Tolle, the problem was a figment of my imagination.

She’s not the first to not pay her bills and won’t be the last, I’m sure, but she’s the most annoying by a long shot.

Eckhart Tolle says I should not think about this incident. It’s destructive. He’s right of course. And until I read his book, I rarely gave it a passing thought. But so much of what he says reminds me a lot of this woman, it’s actually unhelpful.

Now I’m working on seeing if I can just sit with this memory and not be wound up by the experience. But to be honest, the whole ‘not thinking about it’ approach works better for me.

I guess I still have a way to go before I can sit with difficult feelings, accept them, and let them pass. I still find this behaviour unacceptable. But I totally agree that thinking about it is counterproductive, which is why I’m going to end here, and not give it another thought.

Maybe. Hopefully.

(c) Susie Kearley