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Don't turn your possessiveness to abusiveness

How gradually possessiveness for the closer relations showing the abusive side of possessiveness

By Wajiha KhanPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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There is a very thin line between possessiveness and abusiveness. When possessiveness takes the form of harmful behavior and gives the bad essence of mouthing, then it starts to show abusiveness instead of possessiveness.

Possessiveness is the second nature of love. Mostly possessiveness exists there where there is so much affection. This affection can be for family friends beloved ones and other relations as well. Possessiveness shows care about each other and having a particular sense of love and protection for their loved ones.

But possessiveness starts to dim its effects when there is a lack of trust and without trust possessiveness is like a hell. The possessive and protective behavior that grows from distrust leads to abuse. It starts the abusive effects on others. If there is no trust then all the possessiveness seems useless and nothing can be achieved by this possessiveness. In the end, the possessiveness has lost the real and positive love and its effects become mild for them to whom a person show their possessiveness. So make possessiveness as an affection not brutal for the beloved ones.

It is human nature, when we love someone we see them as our priority, and we expect the same from them. Due to much higher priority and expectations, it's become our fault to expect the same from others. But everyone can't be capable to meet the person's requirements as much as other demands. Every person has their perspective and ability to give you affection as he or she wants or their caliber.

But the main reason why possessiveness becomes brutal. This problem only arises when one individual is possessive about the other without consideration of what the other person wants, this is where possessive behavior becomes abusive and unacceptable.

For a healthy relationship, possessiveness should be bounded and should have limits when it comes to the beloved ones. Don't make a cage of bound and abusive for a person. It only holds the amount of possessiveness that is agreeable by both individuals involved. In a healthy relationship, vulnerability is wonderful. It leads to increased intimacy and closer bonds. When a healthy person realizes that he or she hurt you, they feel remorse, and they make amends. It’s safe, to be honest.

On the other hand, when talking about an abusive system, vulnerability is dangerous. It’s considered a weakness, which acts as an invitation for more mistreatment. Abusive people feel a surge of power when they discover a weakness. They exploit it, using it to gain more power. Mostly, the abusive nature arises when a weak person gives other people a chance to react to it. So, the possession of a person takes the form of abusiveness. They start to instigate a person by taking the advantage of his or her weakness. So, the actions like crying or complaining confirm that they’ve poked you in the right spot.

This expression is dual. Sometimes it shows the love and sometimes it shows some aggression so people don't even understand that they are in an abusive relationship until it is too late and they are emotionally shattered. No matter how protective or caring shows in this expression. But when the trust for the closer relations becomes pale then all care, affection, and protection without trust seem fake and abusive. Then don't consider it a genuine feeling for a person. It's just a feeling by name with no affection and care.

See, if there is zero possessiveness in a relationship, then one needs to put a reality check to see if things are going fine. So, normally, everyone is a bit possessive, and so am I. So, to be possessive is not bad for a close relationship, but too much possessiveness unless it takes the abusive essence makes its effects worse for others to whom you love and care about them.

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About the Creator

Wajiha Khan

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