Do You Think Selfies Are Free?

Never has there been a time when we were so obsessed with the digital representation of our lives.

Social media has earned their bad rap for a reason. Its use has been linked to depression, anxiety, poor sleep quality, body dissatisfaction, and increased focus on appearance.

We have all been guilty of the claw-like hand grasp at least once. It became a modern form of communication. The selfie.

Did you know that in 2015 more people have died of selfies than shark attacks?

Selfies are the lifeblood of social media. And Facebook knows exactly how bad it is for the world.

The marry-go-ride of a comparison reel weakens our mental health, but so is a constant preoccupation with our image.

The movement of not-enoughness.

One peek at Instagram, and you get smashed with glamorized images of picture-perfect lives. You may end up thinking your own doesn't measure up.

Photography serves as a remarkable outlet for emotions and intimate bondage with the receiver. However, when posting a tweaked photo for hundreds or millions to like and approve, the mental balance is at stake.

One survey of women between ages 16 and 25 in the UK found that many spent several hours a week taking, editing, and posting selfies.

Instead of focusing on the inward representation of one's feelings, we put the external design on the pedestal. The connection with the receiver is gone, not to say superficial.

With more posting, it is tempting to show not who you are, but how you want to be seen. Psychologists believe taking selfies all the time could be a sign of a mental illness:

"The obsessive-compulsive desire to take photos of one's self and post them on social media is a way to make up for the lack of self-esteem and to fill a gap in intimacy."

Regular taking and posting selfies have a disturbing impact on our mental health. The Department of Psychology at York University found that posting selfies increases anxiety and decreases self-confidence.

Funny thing. We post selfies to boost our confidence or show off the sexy lifestyle. When, in the long run, posting regular selfies diminishes our self-esteem.

Another study at Swansea University showed excessive use of social media was associated with an increase of narcissistic traits; it decreases empathy and boosts entitlement.

Taking a selfie does not make you a selfish person, but a desire to control the viewer's perception is narcissistic. It is not the selfie itself that is harmful, but the need of manipulating the photo and the reason behind posting it, which makes it questionable.

Selfie dysmorphia.

Instagram, in particular, is responsible for increasing rates of depression among teenage girls.

Thirty-two per cent of teen girls admitted when they felt bad about their bodies, Instagram made them feel worse. The pressure to share only the best moments can send teens spiralling toward eating disorders and self-harm.

There is even a term for kids obsessing about their appearance because of social media - selfie dysmorphia. Nowadays, more people perceive their bodies as being flawed.

Through the lens of comparison fuelled by social media, women have changed how they view and describe themselves. Girls who spend more time looking at pictures on Facebook reported higher weight dissatisfaction and self-objectification.

I realize we, as users, are the ones who perpetuate the dynamics. We demand perfection, especially from women, shame them for having plastic surgeries, yet bombard with criticism every time one owns up to having it.

Shot of confidence at the expense of the present moment.

The attention you get from posting selfies is addictive.

Every time I posted a bunch of selfies, I strived for attention. Seeking validation was also my fuel for being active on social media. The number of likes I got when posting selfies compared to creative photos of food and travel was astounding.

But, let's be honest. How many genuine self-portraits can you take daily that mirror what you are going through at the moment?

First, taking a good selfie is challenging. It is damn uncomfortable to place your hand at a certain angle every time you try catching good lightning.

Second, you waste precious minutes of being present in the ongoing moment while aiming for a perfect picture.

What is more, how many times have you faked a smile for the sake of appearances? Social media is a far cry from the actual representation of human's life.

Can one picture speak a thousand words?

If I post numerous falsified images of my life, does it mean my everyday life is not worth sharing? Once you step outside your social-media fashioned lifestyle, who do you become? Once you go out with your friends, which side do you show off? The recipe for Jekyll and Hyde is ready-made.

I have a theory: the louder people get on social media, the less "perfect" their lives feel. Influencers who are candid about their mental struggles back this up.

One study found that frequently viewing selfies led to decreased self-esteem and life satisfaction. When people feel less, they compensate for it by getting louder.

When people go through heartbreaks, they post a stream of photos having "loud fun", surrounded by a bunch of alcohol-infused strangers. Instead of #bliss, they feel emptiness and sorrow.

Instagram is a promotional tool. Whenever I see a selfie, I want to reach out to that person: Are you having an alright day? The person behind the camera, posting that perfect picture, is having a shit day, and they want people to be like: Oh my God, you look amazing! It is all smoke and mirrors, basically.

- Ed Sheeran

You can't cut yourself off from the digital world, as it is not coming anywhere anytime soon. But you can change how you use it.

Take breaks from social media. Pause the comparison reel. Ditch showing off the highlights of your life. The pressure will subside with time as you step away.

Next time, ask yourself: What is your reason behind posing a selfie? Is it to boost your mood or get more likes and shares?

There is a big issue if your worthiness needs validation from likes and claps.

You get to control the narrative of your feed.

Our day-to-day life and our highly curated online representation differ significantly. Still, it's easy for flawless social-media profiles to convince you're somehow falling short.

Success means different things for everybody. You cannot pinpoint one universal picture of what prosperous life looks like. For some, it is a big family as a support system. For others, a lavish Manhattan's office. Others enjoy taking pictures of fancy places around the world and the food they savour.

The definition of the good life varies from person to person. So here is the reminder, what you see on social media bears no resemblance to people's actual lives.

The grass gets greener where you water it, not where you gloss it over.