Do people who write about Mental Health have it all figured out?

I mostly write about my struggle with OCD, and I often end up giving some insights in my articles about how to cope up with OCD. When I read my articles that have been published, I cannot help but feel that I and the girl who writes these articles are two different people altogether. Sometimes I feel as if I have this motivational, sunny side of me and then there’s the other drab, colorless side that decides to make an entrance every now and then. Today I was pounded by quite a few thought-provoking questions:

“Am I just another hypocrite who doesn’t practice what I preach?”

“Am I suitable to give advice, when I myself am not perfect?”

“Should I stop writing altogether, and get my sh*t together first before writing?”

So there I was, staring into utter nothingness in an attempt to answer these grueling questions. But since my mind decided to desert me without providing any proper solution, I decided to read my articles again in the hopes of finding suitable answers to my nerve-wracking questions.

After about half an hour of intense scrutinization of my articles and self-introspection, I finally arrived at the following conclusions:

1. I’m Imperfect, and that's OK

Yes, I am far from perfect. I have bad days — days where I can’t seem to make peace with anything that goes on inside my head. I say that I shouldn’t give in to my OCD and that I should resist my compulsions but I’m not that strong. I wish I was but sadly sometimes I just fall so hard that I don’t even feel like trying to get up. It feels like I have backpedaled to square one again.

But still, I have agreed to accept myself — that I am not flawless and that even though I still do circle back to old compulsive behaviors sometimes, maybe I can give myself some credit for what I go through. I am not blatantly accepting my flaws, because doing so would mean that I will not be working towards healing them— I am simply acknowledging that I have OCD and even though I do fail, I will at least strive to try harder the next time.

I am not a fighter but at least I am training to fight

And I think, that makes all the difference between failing entirely and persevering despite several pitfalls.

2. Some people appreciate me for what I do

Even though I might not be a therapist or a psychologist with profound experience in giving advice and treating people, when I do post my experiences on Medium, I do receive quite a few positive responses. So doesn't that mean, that at least a handful of people benefited from what I wrote? Isn’t that the sole driving factor that motivates a writer to write more? When someone says that they persevered because of you, doesn’t that mean the world to you?

I accept that I am still on the journey and that I haven’t reached my destination (being free from OCD) yet. I might never even be free from OCD and I have to come to peace with that fact. There is much more to my life apart from this disorder and I will not focus on the single black dot on the blank piece of paper that is my life. OCD isn’t exactly curable but over time we do learn how to cope up and control our responses to intrusive thoughts.

OCD is a Party Crasher

I like to think of OCD as a party-crasher, who loves to crash my private parties (my mind). Being the hostess of the party, I do not like unwanted guests coming to my party, but these guests don’t want to budge an inch, they demand to stay there. When I try to fight them, they only knock me down harder. I get so involved in trying to fend these intruders (OCD) away from my party that I forget to spend time with my beloved guests (my good experiences in life).

So I decide to ignore these intruders. I will let them play as they wish, without even paying them the slightest concern. I on the other hand will focus on making the most of my time with my good guests who are actually invited.

3. Penning down my thoughts is therapeutic

Even though, I might not be able to do complete justice to what I write, at least I cherish the process of writing. It allows me to open up various doors in my mind that I previously didn't even know existed. When I write, I enter into a different dimension — a dimension where I am not chained by any limitations and where I am unafraid of being judged.

I feel more like myself when I write.

So circling back to the title of this article — Do people who write about Mental Health have perfect mental health?

Maybe, maybe not (You may now think that this entire article was a waste )

But most importantly, I guess it doesn’t matter as long as you have something to contribute to society.

I personally feel that we can give better advice if we share the same personal experiences. If you know what it is like to be bombarded by numerous intrusive thoughts all at once, then it is more likely that you will be able to empathize with another person who is going through the same thing. But at the same time, just because a person does not have OCD, it does not mean that he/she will not be able to understand you. I know people who don't have OCD but have understood and supported me throughout my OCD journey. A great example would be my parents — I can never thank them enough for just being there for me when I needed them the most.