Dissociative Identity Disorder

I find myself in a situation unusual to most people. Though I am sure some can relate and would like to offer my experiences as I go through this process. I was diagnosed early on with C-PTSD due to childhood trauma. That being said I have become aware that there are symptoms my psychiatrist was not made aware of in the past. As such I am now scheduled for a new appointment to re-evaluate my diagnosis. It scares me that many are not aware or accepting of the diagnosis I may receive. Doing much research on dissociation and PTSD, I find myself more aware of the memory loss I have experienced in the past that I did my best to ignore over the years. I can no longer ignore that as it is now a daily thing due to the stresses of daily life.

I am unable to give details of my trauma as yet as I have no recollection of the events beyond what others have told me and newspaper articles I have copies of. Does this negate the effect these events had on my life? Definitely not. It is a symptom of the "bigger picture" related to the diagnosis I now search for. I have done much research, and talked to many people within the DID community in an effort to understand what I need to expect as time moves forward at this point. I am still confused much of the time about what this will mean for me in the long run. I hope this will be of help to someone else thinking they have the same condition.

I truly believe, based on research I have done that the diagnosis I will receive once my psychiatrist has done the evaluation, will be either Dissociative Identity Disorder or Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder. Both of which involve the brain creating alternate personalities but with varied degrees of amnesia between the identities. This is done in order to protect the individual from memories of past trauma. New alters can also develop later in life to protect the individual from new forms of stress they are exposed to as well. The number of alters a person may have can vary greatly not only from one individual to the next but also at different times within the individuals life as they are constantly learning to cope with stress and past trauma or as new stress develops.

There has been a LOT of misinformation spread, especially recently, within the Youtube community and through the media in general. This condition does not make one more likely to cause harm to another but rather increases the risk of harm to oneself instead. Both from their own alters lashing out at the body as well as from others taking advantage when they realize someone is helpless to defend themselves. I hope that by documenting my journey through diagnosis and mental health care, I can assist others going through the process by reducing the stigma and hopefully increasing the amount of proper information that is out in the community at large with regards to what is needed by the DID/OSDD community.

Dissociation, amnesia, PTSD, flashbacks..... they have all become a HUGE part of my daily life. I do not expect that to change any time soon. With help and the proper treatment though, I hope to regain control of my life. I will post here my experiences while I learn and progress for anyone wanting to get more information to assist themselves or friends. Whether you are a new system, or an ally..... we are here for you <3