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Depression

by Gracie Crusinberry 2 years ago in humanity

This is my story

Depression
Photo by Silvestri Matteo on Unsplash

Hi I'm Grace, but I go by Gracie. My life is great but is it really? I have the perfect boyfriend; a great house; amazing brothers; parents that took care of me when I was adopted. What could be wrong you ask? Well thats the thing. My life was perfect growing up but complicated. Why do you ask? You see I was born with scolisos and neurofibromatosis as a kid; so with that I had to get two main back surgeries and one neck surgery as a kid. In school I had to get a lot of accommodations too because of my disability; for gym I had to have someone hold my hands on the beam; classes I had to get my homework accomdated because, I could barely understand it; I had a speech teacher because, I could barely read properly. Basically I was in special education throughout my whole life. Seventh grade came for me... Okay you may ask what about it right? Well..

Seventh grade was super hard on me because, I was bullied a lot constantly everyday. This would happen before school; after school; during class; free period; before lunch; during lunch; after lunch; by my locker. I didn't really understand why I was bullied. I still don't know why I was bullied. that was the beginning of seveth grade, until in 2011 my grandma died of leukemia. What about my grandpa you ask. Well he died before I was born.

My bullying would continue in High school as well, same people that bullied me and same thing everyday before school and etc. This really took a big toll on me during 7th grade until high school. When I got bullied everyday it made me sad and depressed which I've never experienced before. This would eventually turn into depression and suicide thoughts everyday. I basically didn't wanna live anymore, everyday I would act like I'm fine but deep down inside I was hurt and sad and angry. Angry at the people who bullied me, wanting to know why they bullied me. Like what was the reason.

In school before I graduated I basically said I'm gonna cut myself or that I'm gonna kill myself or that I'm gonna hang myself; because, there was NO point of living. I wanted to get out of the world thinking if I die, I wouldn't be hurt or in pain anymore.

Now that I have an amazing boyfriend, there are days when I'm sad and depressed but he keeps me going and he makes me feel really special and happy.

humanity

About the author

Gracie Crusinberry

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