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Depression

True Feelings Said

By Kaitlin SlaterPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Depression is a serious thing. Nowadays people have become aware of it but don’t quite fully grasp what it is or what the experience is with it. People have become so comfortable with it that it’s unintentionally used as jokes or is used in a way to make oneself feel comfortable in a situation. “Ugh, kill me already. I have a finals this week,” or you get people who mimic depressed people and then laugh about it. People need to realize that depression isn’t something to joke about nor make fun of. Let me take you into a mind of a depressed human being.

This cloud over my head won’t go away. I remember the first day it appeared. This cloud was dark, grey, and thick. It hovers over my head and follows me everywhere I go. I have a tendency to always lower my head and look at the ground as I walk. Some days are better than others but most days I feel empty, cold, and sad. I wonder what makes me this way but when I think, my mind goes to a place where I can’t even fathom the thought of it. I stand there wondering... guessing. I walk sluggish, I feel sluggish. No energy is left in my body. It is like the life is being sucked out of you. Day by day, you grow weaker and tired of feeling the same way. It is like a day but without sun. For the most part you feel down, but then the thoughts kick in. The thoughts of suicide. To a depressed person, it is like a crying child getting the candy they want. They feel miserable in the beginning but then once they think of how it would be better to die, it makes them feel a bit better. It’s a side you should never go to but unfortunately we depressed people do. The worst part is you go back and forth between relief and being sorrowful. The thoughts become too strong sometimes you sit and contemplate whether you put that razor blade to you arm, or whether you tie the rope that will hang your body and dangle it like it’s a party decoration. There are so many possible ways to die. But depressed people find the best way to end their life and be satisfied in their way. All you can think about is how bad life is. How miserable you are. How you would better off be dead. You feel alone by this point. All you can think about is ending it all. You spend many nights crying your eyes out. You cry so much that you become numb. It’s so overwhelming that you start to lose feeling of everything. You can’t enjoy anything anymore because the person you use to be is gone. So helpless... so hopeless.

There are so many things wrong with depression but the fact is that it is not forever. It is how you chose to accept it and you handle it. Depression is not easy and it isn’t an excitable thing either, but you have to put your mind to it. You have to push yourself even when you don’t feel motivated. If you want to get better, then make yourself feel better. Don’t wallow in your sorrow. You have to pick yourself up even when you’re at your lowest point. If you can’t help yourself, then how can you help others when they are in need of assistance? Depression drags you down like a ball and chain hooked onto your ankle. You must free yourself. Accept that this is how things are. From there, you can go and get the help you need. There, you can realize that you aren’t alone. Surround yourself with positive energy. Negative plus negative energy makes problems worse for you. Accept the feelings you have and learn how to switch it into a more positive outlook. Depression isn’t forever. It takes time and commitment and determination to heal what’s been destroyed. If you can push yourself and help yourself, there is nothing you can't do because you are a survivor. No one should have to go through this. If you did—to all those who experience it or experienced depression—all are strong and survivors. Think about how great that achievement in life would be. Don’t let depression define you nor control you. Tell your story to others and help inspire.

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