Darker side of the Rainbows

Darker side of the Our Rainbows - Living with Bipolar disorder

The golden hot flames raging war between the mind and heart cause the calling out with every fiber of my being, “I see your pain,” “I feel your pain,” “I see your struggles,” “I feel your struggles,” “I’m here, let me help you,” feeling the cold blackish winds carrying my anguished words away from their desires’ focus.

Every phrase from my heart through my lips sending her, racing the winds, fleeing further away, lost to the outside world. Boundaries broken and tattered, engulfed in her snowy searing fears, her cold erupting crimson anger, her lustful longing for acceptance, spurring on her race to the unknown.

The observant watcher, always watching, saw the tiniest of changes, never interfering with the destiny of this young lady. Always helpless to banish her buried and hidden demons or sooth away the scorching anger always threatening to swallow her whole. Knowing that anger filled young lady would face such in return as of that unknown without her compass or bearings to find her anchor yet unable to prevent her journey from continuing.

Yellows, greens, reds, blues, oranges, all fading within themselves while expanding upon each other, each a clue of impending storms, revealing strengths and weaknesses within her heart, mind, and body.

The strawberry red of her hair invades her soul, flaming to escape the world I am in. I find that I cannot keep up nor can I catch up as she flees to the darkest of rainbows that I am unable to banish from her life.

Fiery strawberry red hair, with its changing tints, flowing in waves, signaled the struggles within her soul. Brilliant oranges led to almost giddy outburst of fun. Flaming reds exposed the explosions bubbling just under the surface. Dull cerise signaled illness approaching. Dazzling almost pinks laid open the kind gentle heart of her soul.

Flashing shades of steel grey, dull grey, and deep blue within those baby blues signaled the changing tides within her spirit. With the blink of those baby blues, her optimistic bright milky smile crashed into the blackest scowl then another blink to sobs of anguish back to the brightest most brilliant optimistic.

Moments in time, shades of green leveling her boat’s keel. Those unstable waves within the tides, washing her among the turquoise, royal melancholy, rich jades, emerald greens and darkest blues. Her emotions constantly impelling her through blazing reds and purples of anger to sinister blues and blacks of hopeless despair, through the rich jades and emerald greens of calm, bringing her back to the marvelous yellows and oranges of ecstasy.

Rainbows over life’s Oceans, bring calms, highs with lows, inspiring new beginnings. Pastel green, deep purple, bright yellow, pale blue, and light pink paint the world’s prettiest of rainbows after a storm for all to enjoy. Her life’s Oceans were draped with rainbows of darker colors. The darkest blacks mixed with melancholy blues, burnt yellows, murky reds, deep purples and angry oranges were the pallets used to shade her rainbows. her Rainbows of color on the darker side.

The barriers between her world and theirs instigated and built barriers preventing her expressions of her love and desires, her hopes and dreams, leaving her only struggles for acceptance just outside her grasp. She felt alone, fighting her battles while creating battles to protect herself from caring about a world that had abandoned her to her thoughts and feelings.

Her journey from the smallest sweetest pink faced baby girl to an anger filled young lady she had become happened in a flash of time. The beast she faced was Bipolar Disorder.