Crowded Interview with Self

My gaze drifted off to the ocean wave landscape with palm fronds in the foreground. I envisioned being there. Pink and black wetsuit, holding on to the surfboard while analyzing the wave formation. In the depth of my being, I knew the girl I envisioned was the future me, but how do I get to her?

I could feel her and see her in the beachscape, that area would make an ideal place to search for answers.

The consistent crashing of waves, the warm, sticky breeze, sand in my toe gaps. Something about it felt like home. I felt the calm peace wash over me. The eagerness to get out into the surf at least for a swim. The salty air captivated my entire being. Hope washed through me. Today was the day for answers.

The shade under a grouping of trees encouraged me to stay. Setting out my items I allowed the surroundings to whisk me away. Again, I searched for the inner me to speak. I felt her, she was here!

“I can feel you! I can sense you. Please speak to me. How do I reach you?” I pleaded internally.

“I am the future You. Once you grow more you will be me. Time is in no hurry, so why should you?” Future me responded.

“I’m stuck. I’ve been searching for a direction. My life, uugh! You would know my life – Our life! How, where do I go from here?”

“Why do you think you can sense me now?” Future me retorted.

“Because of the surroundings. I often can see and feel you when I come to this beach. Why?”

“Not why. The situation is already presenting answers before you. Think about how you feel when you are here. That is a core part of our being. Hold onto that calm peace, use it to propel you forward.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying! I don’t know what forward looks like. I know there is you and somehow, I am meant to go from being this mess into you. I don’t know how that happens. How can I take a step forward knowing that is the step I need to take without ending up in more mess?”

“Perhaps you are not ready yet. Perhaps you should continue to wander.”

Silence filled the atmosphere. No crashing waves. No leaves bristling by each other. Silence. My scenery was the same as before. Still beneath the coverage of the trees. The ocean certainly moving. What happened? Future me vanished, maybe she went for a surf. What was she saying? It is not the why, but my answers are already here in my surroundings?

Calmness and peace. I don’t feel calm anymore. I guess that’s why she left.

Oh right! By staying calm, I can feel her and that’s where I can see my future. She is guiding me to the future I just wasn’t listening.

Like a cheeky friend sneaking up I heard a voice, “I’m glad you finally figured it out.”

“How many times have you disappeared like that in attempts to let me figure it out? You know what, don’t answer that!”

Future me smiled then stated,

“I left to get some help. You can see me and feel me because slowly you are growing into me. You are a successful person, you have sorted out your messes, you are growing, and you need to continue to do those things. There are things even I can’t answer for you, but I know of someone who can.”

“Who is it?” I quickly asked.

“It is you.”

I think my face must have said it all, for then Future me elaborated.

“Look. We are the same being. I am your soul. You are already acquainted with the other aspects. You would know them as the Mind and Body. I’m sure when you make choices you rely on the Mind, and perhaps sometimes you rely on the Body’s intel. But now you have discovered me. Much like in those video games I’ve seen you play with the annoying guide character. That’s me! Well, you. You need to find a way to have each of us communicating in unison and then you will be like a daring, charging bull.”

It was much to process but it made sense. Deep within I knew there had to be something more to the puzzle called my life.

“I guess it’s not so much reaching out for you but realizing how you fit into the mix, right?” I questioned the Soul Aspect.

She replied, “It’s more like you should say; Welcome to the Team Soul Aspect hee hee.”