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COVID-19 vs Anxiety: My Battle

How COVID-19 restrictions have effected my anxiety

By J CarterPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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COVID-19 vs Anxiety: My Battle
Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

Anxiety is not something to joke about. I describe as The Monster under your bed. I have been battling anxiety for about 10 years now. Back then, it was terrible. I have suffered from anxiety induced bowel movements ever since. I have learned to keep it under control for the past 6 years or so but sometimes is worse than other times. It has been a struggle but I believe that when it matters most, I do my best and can control it to a degree. I recently found out I was lactose intolerant which would explain quite a lot but after going to soya and almond based product where needed, I still sometimes have problems.

When I first noticing these problems, my dad told me about this organisation called CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services). After going there, it helped a lot. After knowing how to deal with these problems, my doctor (Miss Fletcher) told me to listen to my surrounding as it were and ask myself what I can smell, hear, see and touch. This occupied my mind to think about other things. She also told me to listen to some sort of hypnosis tape and whale sounds but hearing whales just made me more anxious seeing as how I can't swim (LOL)

The Coronavirus pandemic has been particularly difficult for me in the way that during these past months I have been made redundant twice with no further furlough in the space of 4 months and the fact that all restaurants are required to close as 6pm makes me overthink and worry about when I will next be able to go to the toilet. This makes my life very difficult and my social life even more difficult to keep alive.

Today I was in town today with one of my best friends and my girlfriend, I left Caffe Nero at around 6pm and I started to freak out about where the nearest toilet is. It turned out that the only places I could go was Haymarket Station or Edinburgh Waverley Station. I know we need to contain the spread of infection but surely these toilets are monitored and cleaned, even if we're in a lockdown or not...??

Going places and having a good time have always been an issue for me. Before going anywhere, I have to map out exactly where all toilets are en route just so I can tell my mind not to freak out. I've been doing it for years now and, yet, I still have to do it. Now that new restriction from this pandemic we're in have appeared, I now have to do the same but check what time each toilet access closes. This makes it extremely difficult for me to try and enjoy myself. It makes things wore when I'm going somewhere I don't or on a route I've not been on before. Don't even get me started on going abroad. This has taken over my life.

For me, all this stress and anxiety was due to an underlying lactose intolerance that contributed massively to it. I always enjoyed a glass of milk before bed and then it would come back to bite me in the morning and found myself struggling to leave the house. Since giving up dairy products a year ago, my health is getting better because of it and I thank god that I found this out when I did.

When I'm on a night out with my friends or planning a dinner with my parents, I try and enjoy myself as much as I can but the struggle for me is actually getting to the destination. I found that cycling helps calm me down because I concentrate about what my feet are doing and the road more than my stomach. I have been cycling for about 11 years but in the past few years, I've cycled whenever I can. Even if I'm going to the nearest shops 5 minutes away from my house.

Listening to music is a big part of calming me down. While concentrating on the sounds, my body absorbs the beats instead of making me worry.

I am very open about my struggles because I know that I'm not the only one like this and if I tell people about my struggles that are suffering from it too, then I feel better knowing I am helping someone get better...

anxiety
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About the Creator

J Carter

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