Before counseling, I was blaming the pandemic! It was what my mind kept telling me! I still think it's mostly true. In my life, many people I know are not operating the same as before the pandemic. How could they?
My sister-in-law just posted a comment while celebrating my brother's birthday, at a packed ball game in Texas and no one is wearing masks. She stated how pleased she is about no masks!
That post upset me and at first, I didn't know why! Was it because they have both had covid twice? Was it because they are not vaccinated and may get covid again? Then it dawned on me. Our baby brother died from covid, after celebrating his birthday on Valentine's day with friends in a crowded place with no masks!
Depression is why I was referred to counseling. It is not the first time I have been to counseling or have been in depression. I know what depression looks like and feels like. Even though I have worked in the field of counseling for 30+ years, I don't ever think I need counseling, until I get there.
I can hear myself there, as I did most of the talking. He completed a diagnostic assessment and hasn't given me a diagnosis yet. This was my second appointment with him. I'm concerned the diagnostic assessment will say that I am too well adjusted for insurance to pay for it.
So, I asked him how many sessions he thought I would be allowed. He said many insurance programs won't allow over 20 sessions in a year. I am on number 2. It felt like a continued diagnostic and maybe that is what it was. I worked at not being too well adjusted!
Whatever that means!
I didn't want a heavy diagnosis as I know what some of them look like and I am not going there, so his leaning toward adjustment disorder is okay with me. It is a nice way of saying I am not handling life very well right now! I will take that diagnosis as that is probably an understatement!
A retired therapist friend of mine said you get diagnosed as too well adjusted as you are healthier than the therapist. Well, I thanked her but reminded her that he hasn't said that! Her being on my side no matter what is why I like this woman!
Is It Depression?
Spaciness and lack of memory retention
Is it a stressful life event?
The pandemic is my lament
Grief and loss
I can't gloss
over it or give it a toss!
Physical health problems, oh no
Oncology retested and I am good to go!
The medicine man had some tea
My nurse practitioner prescribed a pill
Can't find a way to take that as I am not that ill!
Reiki can help too
Exercise is overdue
Get out there and walk
no more talk
a psychiatrist told mom
He was the bomb
Time to do what I can
Listen to the expert man!
I'm never the expert when it comes to what's best
for me. I always have to take the test
to find out what's best you see
I will walk through to the other side full of glee
Too well adjusted she said. Is that possible that I am too well adjusted? I think not. I am not the expert, and I think not. Who is the expert then? A licensed therapist that is trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). We had one session.
The good news is it only took one session beyond the diagnostic assessment. The bad news was that I was too well adjusted for my insurance to cover any further sessions. On one hand it was good news. And how can I argue with the experts.
Wait, insurance is the expert? I could have paid out of pocket for additional sessions. I am sure the therapist would have been okay with that.
When working in a program where the program participant had to be approved for every day to three days of outpatient treatment I didn't agree with the determination by insurance. Were they really the expert there?
The client ended up paying out of pocket for what was supposed to be covered by their insurance. An injustice for sure. What was the client thinking about in group and in individual counseling? Did we spend more time talking about fighting with the insurance company or healing from their addiction?
Did I spend more time working with the program participants or complying with insurance requests for more information?
Counseling was listening but it was more than that. It was helping me to process my feelings. It was discovering what I didn't even realize I had going on! I didn't know certain things were bothering me. I do now after one session beyond diagnostic.
The good news is it may have only taken two sessions again this year! Maybe every three years or so is enough for this person that is so well adjusted! My next appointment is at the end of August and maybe by then I won't see the need!
About the Creator
I am married and we have 7 children, 25 grands and 9 greatgrandchildren. I work part-time as a culture consultant. I started writing A Poem a Day in February 5 years ago. I've written 4 - 50,000 words in NaNoWriMo. Now Vocal and Medium.