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Constructively Destructive

'Acting in a destructive way, whether this is to others or to ourselves, never ends well...'

By Laura .Published 6 years ago 3 min read
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We all need to feel alive sometimes.

There are times, when I feel really low, that it can feel as though all the life is just being sucked out of me. Seriously, I don't joke when I say it's like I've fallen victim to a group of Dementors from the Harry Potter series. Sometimes people think I am just "sad," but depression is much more than that. It's like you feel nothing, everything is tiring, my body is heavy, and all I really want to do is collapse and sleep. Understanding the Dementors comparison, yet?

Anyway, it's times like this when we can start to feel destructive—not necessarily because we are angry, or because we dislike ourselves, but because sometimes, it's the only way we can try to feel something when our minds are feeling nothing. However, speaking from experience, acting in a destructive way, whether this is to others or to ourselves, never ends well, even if it does seem like a good idea at the time. So, I'm starting to learn how to be (what I like to call) constructively destructive. Sounds kind of like a paradox though, right? How can you be fuelling destructive feelings whilst also being constructive? Well, let me explain. Behaving in a destructive manner can mean a lot of different things—it can involve anything from using alcohol and drugs, to self-harming or acting out. It is anything that helps you "escape" from your thoughts, or lack thereof, but in a negative way. Whilst the logical part of our minds know that these kinds of impulsive behaviours aren't good or healthy in any way, the illogical side of our minds just wants to find some form of outlet. This is where "Constructively Destructive" makes its grand entrance. Being constructive with these thoughts can take many forms, but the key part of it is that whilst you can still try to escape the negative thoughts and attempt to "feel" something, you aren't doing anything that is harmful to yourself or others.

One thing that I discovered that was helpful was changing my hairstyle—it sounds silly, but I would either cut my hair or dye it a different colour. For me, this was something that was impulsive and an outlet of feelings (and okay maybe not the most clever idea in world as it could have gone very wrong and I risked looking like a small 12-year-old boy), but the point of it was that it still filled me with those sensations that I wanted to feel, but I was at no risk to myself—plus I literally felt like Mulan when she chops off all hair to go to war, so that was a pretty badass feeling to experience anyway.

I also used to run—a lot, especially to get rid of negative or impulsive feelings. Literally anytime of day come rain or shine, often without much planning, I would run as fast as I possibly could in an attempt to fuel the impulsivity until I either felt freed or tired. Again, whilst there are some aspects of this activity that are not always ideal, i.e not warming up properly or planning where to go—it can act as another example of turning the destructive into something constructive, and it's a way to get that kick of "life" when we may be feeling very little. Plus, I usually feel better after a good run anyway.

Other things like painting or art can work too! You can create or even destroy whatever you want by scribbling or even just splashing paint everywhere—getting it all over yourself and getting messy can also feel liberating too (though I suggest you wear some old clothes and find a suitable area). So there you have it, the impulsions to be "destructive" in a constructive manner.

coping
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About the Creator

Laura .

Talker of all things Mental Health!

Sharing my experiences, stories, and tips xoxo

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