Cognitive traps: Black and white

1. Black and white thinking: yes or no

Example thought: "In my opinion, either both are right or both are wrong..."

Black and white thinking is extreme and makes you think things like "You're either with us or against us" or "you're either right or wrong." The person who holds this view sees everything as either positive or negative, and their thinking falls into the dilemma that everything is simply divided into "good" and "bad". While this kind of thinking can make successful politicians, business tycoons, and leaders, it leaves no room for the "grey zone" between the opposites of "black and white thinking", and the consequences are dangerous.

Case's note

Bernadette, 38, owns a corner flower shop in partnership with Daisy, 37, who went to school with Bernadette. Bernadette is excited because she likes to be in charge.

In the store, she was responsible for purchasing flowers, processing customer orders, and some information about the flower shop. Daisy was in charge of preparation and design, and she was great with clients. One day Bernadette didn't show up sick (which was a rare occurrence), so Daisy took care of the shop.

Daisy bought extra red gerbera, which was popular and on sale at the supermarket. Usually, she would ask Bernadette first, but today Bernadette was sick, so Daisy didn't bother her.

Secretly, Daisy was worried about Bernadette's reaction, but then she realized that Bernadette might see this as a good deal.

But when Bernadette returned to work the next day, her face soured when she saw the extra flowers and the schedule change (even though the gerberas were sold).

She did not feel that Daisy had helped her, but that Daisy had interfered with her work. Bernadette didn't see that Daisy was using her innovative thinking to broker a good deal; Instead, she was more concerned with maintaining her position as head of the store and keeping control of the shop.

Bernadette doesn't thank Daisy for watching the store, but she's been very unkind to Daisy for the extra flowers and picking on her. Daisy is ashamed of herself for doing something "wrong" (which she hasn't done). It also sends a message to Daisy: do your part, don't be pushy. Daisy was unhappy and felt wronged.

Her reaction led Bernadette to use this extreme way of thinking more in her later business, discouraging the store's staff. Time would prove costly and damaging, especially when Daisy quit her job to start her own business.

The "blanket yes or no" way of thinking obscures the subtle changes or gaps in things. This way of thinking is rigid and impersonal. Life is complicated, and this kind of thinking alone can't solve all the problems. So those of you who think or act in black and white will find that the complexity of life will take you by surprise.

For example, if you were trying to tell the "good" students from the "bad" students in a class, and asked them to line up on the playground, you might find it difficult to strictly tell the good from the bad. Each child has both good and bad aspects, but the degree is different, that is, there are difficult ambiguous situations. People who think in "black and white" have an extremely difficult time dealing with such ambiguous situations.

However, this way of thinking seems to be "powerful" and "important", and it teaches one to see things rationally and/or conservatively. "Black and white thinking" tends to provoke wars and family disputes. When people find "black and white thinking" "weakly" untenable and have to acknowledge the "grey area" between the two opposites, the only way to do it is to move towards one or the other (as is the case with divorce and business competition).

2. Test your "black and white thinking"

Be aware of the "black and white" part of your thinking, and try to use exact words such as "have to," "should," and "must" when stating your opinions and opinions.

Try putting your shoes on inside out and see what happens to your thinking style -- is it similar to before? What's the difference between before and after?

Tell yourself, "That's complicated." Then imagine what the so-called "gray area" is. You can also write it down on paper.

The next time you find yourself disagreeing with an "affirmative" view, stop and think about whether there are other ideas worth considering.

3. Find the "middle Ground"

You may feel that you can live well by sticking to "black and white thinking" because it is an essential principle or character trait.

Remember that there are more than two ways of looking at things and that dividing everything into two extremes can lead to mental illness. Instead of this extreme thinking, try to think of things on a continuum as shown below -- try to move it to the middle and come up with your opinion or perspective.