Childhood Ruined

Ramona always felt alone through her entire life. She did not think anything could be as lonely as her childhood. She was so alone. Ramona used to play outside until all her friends went inside. She was always alone by the end of the night. She went through so many traumatic events. Ramona was molested a few times, held hostage, and raped 2 times before she was only twelve years old. Her mom was always getting evicted and they were always moving into different neighborhoods. She was always being bullied by the other kids because she was poor and she wore the same clothes to school. Once her stepdad, Roy, dropped her off to school with no shoes. He was in a hurry to get to work and he didn't realize that she was in school like that. Ramona just cried and ran straight to the counselor's office. The counselor took her to a local department store, and got Ramona some shoes. Ramona started to remember that her childhood was filled with bad memories.

She would play outside and go to friend's houses where their dad or drunk uncle would start going near her, and touching her in places that she felt uncomfortable. It wasn't that great at home either. Her mother Anna, would have friends over all the time. Before she Anna had her youngest children, she would be partying all the time. Anna did not realize that having different people over all the time would effect her kids. Some of these people would also violate Ramona. She started to remember other awful times. One day Ramona was walking home from the neighborhood recreation center. In order to get home, she had to go through these woods and creek area. Ramona was walking home one day when a group of boys, probably about 12 or 13, approached her. First they started teasing her. Calling Ramona names and pushing her. Next thing you know, they were feeling her up. After that, Ramona was raped a few times. She remembered that she didn't even fight it because of being so scared. She never told anyone because Ramona was ashamed of what had happened. She used to blame herself for walking alone in the woods. After that, Ramona did not want to take the shortcut home anymore, even though it was a quick way home. As Ramona laid in her bed, she started to think of another time that she was raped. The second time Ramona got raped was when she was 12 years old. She had such vague memory of it. She also blamed herself for it. Roy had a bottle of tequila on the refrigerator. Ramona was trying to show off in front of a boy that she had a crush on, so she was drinking like it was water. She forgot the fact that drinking liquor could put you in a whole other state of mind. She honestly did not remember much. What she did remember was foggy. She remembered that different boys were jumping in and out of the window and when she finally snapped out of it, there was a random stranger on top of her. Ramona felt so sad and violated. She remember going to the shower and seeing blood run down her leg. She hated that very moment in time.

Ramona hated her life so much. She remembered trying to die by purging. She had heard it could kill you, so she would stick her finger in her mouth and purge away. Ramona would go places to escape like skating, or the movies, but by the end of the night nobody picked her up. She remembers begging Manuel to pick her up. Manuel would come and get her, and lecture Ramona all the way home. Sometimes she would walk home. She was only 10 years old and walking on the railroad tracks all the way home, in the dark, feeling so lonely. In the summer time Ramona would go to the community swimming pool and same thing. She would walk home in only her bathing suit and strange men would ask her if she needed a ride. She thought, that could've been a way to die, but by the time Ramona was a preteen, she hated men and did not trust them. Ramona started to feel the post traumatic stress. It was a painful time. Her entire childhood was followed by other traumatic events, but being a child and going through those things, it was the hardest part of her life. Ramona vowed after that, to always try and help her mom with her younger brothers and sisters. She did not want them to experience the pain that she felt in her own life.