Blanket Expressions

Hey all, and welcome to the first session of this "revamped" Blog.

If you follow me on any other platform

Wattpad

Insta

Fb

then it will come as no surprise, I still suck at introductions. So we're gonna skip some of the info-dumping (where I'm from, where I've been, what I do for the most part) because it's all in the bio.

For this first post we're going to discuss the big question that most hoo•mans have:

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

And maybe you all have the same issues and you'll be able to resonate or maybe you'll find my writing style hilarious and want to stick around.

Probably not that last part, but here goes.

Hi, my name is Nichele (you can call me Nina, you know, pen name and all) and I have Anxiety.

Yes, I am aware that is a blanket expression encompassing all of the little things that are probably wrong with me but if I were to start listing all of those things you'd probably stop reading. BTW super grateful you haven't already.

My quirks include

•Overthinking

-about literally the smallest things

And

•Over-compensating to seem more extroverted than I really am which is both

-tiring and draining

Because I'm a Virgo, I can attribute some of my overthinking to my birth month but let's not give my Zodiac all the credit here.

Overthinking

While down the Facebook rabbit hole, I recently found the term

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Now coming from an overthinker, this makes PERFECT SENSE. So bear with the hypochondria.

Did YOU say something funny to a coworker but they didn't laugh? Now you never ever want to talk again?

Did YOU try to start a group convo with friends/family but keep getting talked over? Sink into the black abyss and never resurface, please!

BUT feeling this way is OKAY.

I've learned, your reaction is what's NOT okay.

Maybe your coworker just wasn't listening. Maybe you told a joke they didn't understand. Maybe your friends are just excited about that one thing they're talking about.

The point is, don't shut down. Yeah, easier said than done. I know it may seem like everything you do and say is wrong and no one cares what comes out of your mouth but that's just your brain playing tricks on you, boo.

So what can I do to stop it?

Check out the following link:

https://www.depressionalliance.org/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria/

There are a few "how to's" listed but the two that work for me are:

•Staying on top of my emotions.

Generally, you can feel yourself getting worked up. You know when you're feeling...off. Ask yourself why am I feeling like this and what caused it? Then, talk it out. To yourself, aloud, your partner, your dog, your cat, your plant.

•Try not to get too stressed

Take 5 deep, calming breaths. Meditation can also help. It doesn't have to be sitting cross-legged and chanting while you're high off insense. Feel an attack coming on? A few deep breaths and some calming mantras like "this is not the end of the world. I will be ok" will do just fine.

Overcompensating

Man, oh man, do I hate talking but when I'm nervous good luck getting me to shut up.

This sometimes can cause problems in certain situations.

Like: nervous around your new boss and can't seem to shut up making him think you're far more extroverted than you really are and now that you're comfortable around him you don't ramble like an idiot and he thinks you're snubbing him or always upset?

Or

Your friend brought someone new into your personal space and instead of shutting down like you know you probably should, you keep talking and talking about the weirdest and strangest things your mind can come up with and now there's an awkward silence and the newbie is looking at your bestie all wide-eyed and confused as to why they'd like a weirdo like you...okay, yeah.

BUT that is okay! Again, it's okay to have your weird quirks. You must embrace the weird.

Yes, putting yourself out there is scary AF and it's totally something I need to work on (the list is major) but again, the first step is admitting the problem and at least trying to work on it.

Try these tips

Ask yourself why you're talking so much? What's your trigger?

Mine typically are because I'm nervous. That nervous chatter is because I'm trying to distract myself from whatever horrible position life has put me in. Which causes me to mimic people who I find are outgoing or likable. Like maybe if I keep talking then maybe they won't see how awkward I am.

How to fix this?

The word of the day is: ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Know you have the problem. Take deep breathes and speak slowly, so it's not seen as rambling. Also, work on listening and asking questions. Actually listen to the responses of the other person.

If you're focusing on what others are saying in the conversation maybe it will be a better distraction than your own psycho-babble or inner monolog.

Think about this. People are more likely to remember their own awkward chattering than yours. Can you remember some super awkward thing that someone said/did in like 2010?

No? Exactly my point. Our brains are actively working against us so it's our job to work on ourselves and do better for our own mental sanity.

Hopefully, this is somewhat helpful and REMEMBER

I'm not a doctor

Seek help if you need it

Much love, Nina