Beaten

Only a lone

Beaten

Have you ever gotten married and then realize you married the wrong man?

Well I did ! I got married at the age of eighteen and married a man , that turned into a possive person. He was and still is an alcoholic. I did not even know what that was at that time. I grew up in a home that people drank but not violent. They would laugh and have a good time. Then I married Don (we will call him that for the story ) , I at the time did not know he was going to end up being violent person. My mother was not happy about me marrying Don , what when you are not close with your mom you just think she doesn’t know him I like you do. And my dad knowing him very well does not give you his opinions at all , about the marriage. What ever you want is fine with him. Maybe he thought Don would take good care of me. I do not know to this day, because my dad died when I was twenty one.

I was married to Don for 13 years. And those thirteen years he hit me , degraded me, took my self esteem away. I felt like I was a prisoner in my own home. I was scared to leave because he told me if I left, he was going to kill me and my family. He had me convinced, believe me. He definitely had me scared out of my witts.

One time he took his shotgun and blew the window out of our bedroom , shot it right beside my head I thought he was going to shoot me. So I stayed out of fear. I had two children to think about. I did not know anything about how to leave. You see my mom moved away. When I was married to Don to a different state. I had no money to run away on , and I felt I had no place to go, because the only person I thought I could count on , had died, my dad. So I stayed.

Have you ever thought, your stuck until death do us part. And that is all that is going threw your head. Your married and the only way out is death. An abusive person can really play with your mind. Then as you are getting older your thinking well if he is going to kill me ,so be it. I will be better off dead , than living like this everyday , not knowing if he is going to come Home drunk and fight with you or not. So then you start thinking ok, just leave and let him kill you. So you do , you leave , the the stocking starts.

You go to work and your husband comes in to your place of employment and puts a knife up to throat and say I going to kill you right here. What can you do your only 120 pounds to his two hundred. So you just start praying please God , I do not want to die. And all of a sudden he lets you go, and leaves because now you have witness to the attack.

( if you want more to read let me know )

trauma
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Linda
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