Balcony Time: A Gift to Anxious Organizers

"Why can't you be more organized like you were in high school?"

My mom's words came at the worst possible time. With a new job that demanded strong skills in self-management and a new community of people to find belonging in, life just didn't seem as simple as making sure my priorities were consistently written down and checked off (as satisfying as checking off that to-do list can be!) And here's the thing: that straight-A, check-the-box student, with a backpack weighed down as if about to embark on an expedition up Everest? Internally, she was a mess.

A woman obsessed.

Over the years of perfecting my perfectionism I had learned to live in a co-existent relationship with my anxiety. Sometimes, anxiety was a functional companion who pushed me toward success. She put the appropriate pressure on that I needed to get that English paper in on time or to study for that AP US History exam (I passed it, by the way with credit owed to the 2007 film "Across the Universe." But that's a story for another day).

Other days though, anxiety was the inconsiderate college roommate who makes out with her new boyfriend on your bed while you're trying to enjoy a quiet Friday night of poking old high school friends on Facebook (am I showing my age yet?) In other words, in the moments where I just wanted a breath of fresh air, some time to live and not constantly be doing, she was there---messing up my bedsheets with no sign of letting up.

Let's move on from my terrible metaphors for a moment, shall we?

As anxiety gained more and more ground in my life throughout my 20s, my obsession only grew. I started to learn that organization needed to become less about a flawless productivity train that never stopped running and more about finding the rhythms that would help me to build a life I was proud to live. A life of accomplishment, yes, but not at the expense of peace and the values I hold dear.

One of the tools I have found to be most impactful in this journey is called Balcony Time. When I was first introduced to this activity by a former supervisor, I assumed it required access to a literal balcony. Thankfully, I had that (what would have happened had I not?!) Rest assured though, that is not the point. The point is the metaphor, once again (let's hope my metaphors get better this time).

When you stand on a balcony, whether you are a queen surveying your kingdom or a city dwelling young professional in your apartment---your balcony gives you space for perspective. You see the grid pattern of streets, the Jack Russell terriers playing in the dog park, your cute neighbor's route to work (stop being a stalker!) You see what can't be seen at eye level. That's what we are doing in balcony time. Taking a dedicated amount of time at the beginning or end of the week to survey what's happening, where we've been, and to pave a way toward where we are going.

So, settle in with me. Make this enjoyable. Prepare your beverage of choice (mine might be an oat milk latte or a glass of wine, depending on the time of day). Find a quiet spot that is dedicated to this time every week--for the sake of this exercise, let's say it's Friday morning. If you're at home, maybe it's that cozy wingback chair near your front window, the backyard patio near your garden, or a literal balcony (bonus points for you!) Or perhaps you need the bustle of people, so you pick a local coffee shop and lay claim to your designated spot each week. If you have to be at the office for this, do something to make the space unique--some quiet music, a picture of your family that you place in front of you, anything that creates a sense that this time and this place is set apart for the journey ahead.

Now, observe. Just observe. What literally happened this past week? Jot down some notes. Don't judge or interpret it, just make your notes. Write it like a scientific report, the details of what happened, where you were, when you did it (and how much time it took). This is probably boring. Let it be. Let the boredom rush over you for just a moment with me.

Then, take a look over that beautiful balcony of yours and notice the patterns that appear.

Where were the majority of your hours spent?

Did you spend more time with people or projects?

What were the goals you had this week? Did the things you did align with those goals?

Where was energy spent uselessly? In my line of work, we are constantly seeking to empower others. If I go through an entire week and never invite someone else into a meeting with me to help them learn, or delegate a task for someone else's growth, I consider that useless energy. I took on things that could have been done by others and would have benefitted them in the process.

Now comes the part that us anxious people may hate, yet we need. We interpret our activities, asking deeper, probing questions:

Where did I experience joy this week? No, not every week of your career and life is going to be brimming over with excitement. But, if you do this exercise week after week and week after week identify that there are virtually no places of joy. Well, that might just tell you that something needs to change.

Where was I drained this week? You know deep down the difference between working hard in a way that brings life and pumps you up and the kind of things that sap you of strength. Again, you might not be able to instantaneously change all of these things, but you can begin asking the questions of why you are drained and if there might be small changes you could make to allow these tasks to bring more life. Many of us turn our week into a marathon of getting mildly-useful tasks completed, but it's at the expense of time we could have invested in just a few purposeful tasks. We may feel less "accomplished" in the short term when we haven't checked off 50 items on our list but, in 3 months, 6 months, maybe a year, I think we will find that the things we spent our time with meant more toward our goals and that we had more energy for life.

Who are the people who were influenced by how I spent my week? Was it a positive or negative influence? Look, life is about people. We were built for community. Even if you work a job that feels isolated from contact with others, you are still influencing someone. The IT guy at the organization I work for who helped me update all of my contact information in our numerous online systems after I got married could look back and identify that he made one anxious employee's life a little less anxious because of his influence. He never met me in person, and probably never will (it's a big organization), but he had a tangible impact on real people through his line of work.

Your people of influence should also include others in your life who you value outside of the workplace. One colleague of mine organizes his life around his roles. He has a chart where he has identified the most important relationships he has: his wife, his children, his coworkers, and his friends. His balcony time might involve reflecting on each of those relationships and asking himself how the whole of his life that week served to positively influence those relationships.

After you've taken a good amount of time to reflect on these questions, chart out your plan for the upcoming week. Set tasks in alignment with your big picture dreams and goals. Ask, "who are the people I can bring alongside me?" in those tasks, and make a plan today to invite those people into the work you are doing.

You'll notice that at several points in this article I've shared that we begin to notice patterns week-by-week. That is the key to our balcony time. Some of us may find that after four weeks of working with these questions that there are significant changes that need to be made. Some of us might realize that we need to make our monthly assessment a more strategic time to "dwell on our balcony" and that the weekly reflection is more a checkpoint. The beauty of this tool is how individualized it is to capture what you most need to move forward.

When all of this is completed, my planner looks less like the anxious, frenzied list of tasks that defined my high school years and more like a story of the week ahead. A story where one woman will put her values and goals in the driver's seat and tell anxiety to go make out on someone else's dorm room bed (sorry, had to fit that metaphor in one more time).

I also often find in all of this that spaces appear in the week that can be given to pure fun. Focusing on the core pieces allows me that hour in the week to head to the gym, to pick up a new hobby, to read a book just for enjoyment. I learn to savor those spaces of time as a precious gift.

What do I believe is most important of all? Celebrate. When you notice that you empowered someone in your workplace because you took time to invite them into a project, celebrate. When instead of tackling 50, so-so tasks throughout your week, and instead did 3 with intention and focus, celebrate. I'm not talking about a big, blowout party (although I love parties. Please invite me to your party!) I mean something as simple as taking 5 minutes to just let yourself feel good in the work that was done. To go for a walk and breathe some fresh air. Take your kids out for ice cream after work and school today. And while you're out, pick up a scoop for me. Mint chocolate chip, please!

Balcony Time is not meant as a checklist. It is an exercise to free you toward understanding yourself, your motivations, and your goals more fully. It's a process that at first might feel confusing, even time-consuming, and won't lead immediately into what others recognize as "results." But in the long run, it will pay off. My time on my metaphorical balcony has helped me to stop running on task-accomplishment-autopilot and to notice if the things that I'm doing really matter. It challenges me to make space for the relationships that need to be valued in my life. It helps me see where I want to be heading in life or if I'm simply reverting to my self-obsessive perfection tendencies that may have made me successful in the past, but did not make me joyful.

I hope that the next time my mom asks me, "Why can't you be more organized like you were in high school?" I can point to habits that are creating a new woman, one who doesn't just organize lists, but organizes her life with purpose, creativity, and beauty.